The Squirrel War Continues

I went to the Squirrel Tree with Mommy this morning and a squirrel was inside. He decided he wanted to be outside and tried to run out and up the tree like they do, BUT he had eaten waaaay too much and was very fat so when he twisted his body to run diagonally out of the tree his big fat butt got caught in the hole! I thought I finally had my chance and jumped up to try to grab him, but instead of staying stuck he turned himself forward and launched himself out of the tree and straight towards Mommy's face! I don't know if he was thinking he could take shelter on top of her head or if he was planning on biting her in retaliation for her letting me go to the Squirrel Tree each morning, and I won't know because Mommy's boxing training kicked in and she did a great duck and weave maneuver which caused the squirrel to miss her. The squirrel landed with a heavy plop into the snow behind her and ran up the next tree before I could get him. Those squirrels are getting crazier!

Mommy is a Traitor!

On our morning walk we came to a place where there are three black walnut trees in a triangle. Tree 1 and 2 are about eight feet apart on the parkway and tree 3 is about the same distance between the other two and six feet up on the house side of the sidewalk. As we walked towards tree 1 a squirrel came down with a black walnut in his mouth, heading off to, no doubt, drop it on the head of some poor unsuspecting dog. I knew I needed to stop him so I went after him. He dropped the walnut and ran up tree 2. I stood under tree 2, with the abandoned walnut between my back paws, yelling at him when another squirrel came down from tree 3 and crept up behind me, grabbed the walnut and ran up tree 3!! I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye when he was already about two feet up tree 3 and even though I turned and lunged at him I couldn't catch him. Mommy, the traitor, saw the whole thing and DIDN'T ALERT ME and then she had the nerve to laugh at me when I missed the second squirrel!!

What is Up with Those Squirrels?!

The squirrels in the Squirrel Park are NUTS!! I was walking in the park with Mommy and I caught two squirrels unaware. I snuck up on them and then charged and they ran to the nearest tree which was only about 10 feet tall. I wanted to catch them so I jumped and jumped and jumped but I couldn't reach them. I stood under the tree and stared at them. They got more and more nervous and climbed up to the highest branches and tried to reach the tree above them, but they couldn't. I knew I had them! I waited and watched and then they did the craziest thing. Both squirrels jumped out of the tree and over me and landed on the ground behind me! I turned to chase them, but they got to the big tree before I could get there. What is going on?! Since when do squirrels try to fly? Since when do they jump out of trees rather than run down the trunks into my mouth? Have all the rodents in town gone mad? What happened to the rulebook?

My Monthy Diary for October, or When Squirrels Attack

Yes, this month was the month of the vicious squirrels, but I will get to that later.

First off this month Mommy got sick. She was coughing and sneezing and had a low grade fever so I let her stay in bed all day on the Saturday she was sick, but then on Sunday afternoon her fever broke so I told her it was time to get up and take a hike. Mommy said no, she was not going to hike,so I got my big Grunty Fish and smooshed it into her head. Mommy told me to go away, I smooshed her with Grunty Fish, Mommy pulled the covers over her head, I pulled the covers off the bed and smooshed her with Grunty Fish. Mommy said she was too sick to hike, I smooshed her with Grunty Fish. Mommy gave up, got dressed and took me for a very slow three mile hike. We stopped a lot, but that was okay because we were hiking. The next day Mommy's fever came back so she stayed in bed AGAIN! That afternoon I got Mommy up and told her that it was nice outside and we should be in the backyard. Mommy said she was too sick, but I bugged her and bugged her until she gave up and brought a sleeping bag and pillow out to the hammock so she could sleep while I chased squirrels and sat in the sun. Mommy really needs to think about me more when she is sick.

Also this month Mommy has been bad to me because she is walking my neighbor Benji three nights a week because his mommy hurt her back. I don't like Benji, he is a snot and tries to bite me so we can't walk together. So, Mommy goes and takes him for short walks after we take our long one. When they pass our house Benji slows down and sniffs MY grass and looks at me and acts snotty until I get mad and start barking at him. So, in revenge now when I pass Benji's house I slow down and sniff HIS grass until he barks.

Oh, I also hurt my back again playing with a ball in the backyard. I was throwing it around and chasing it and I stepped wrong and fell. My back was really sore that night and Mommy had to give me a Tramadol around midnight. I woke her up again at 4 am and asked for another pill, but Mommy said no. So I asked to go out and refused to come back in. Finally Mommy gave me two pieces of cheese like she does when I get pills and I came inside and went to bed and waited for the pills to kick in, but they didn't. Mean Mommy had left the pills out of the cheese! She did give me another pill later that morning and I had to stay on them for a few days. My back feels better now, but it still hurts a little if I overdo it.

Also this month Mommy got me the best present EVER. It was an elk antler. It is even better than butcher bones (which I can't have anymore). I chewed it so much the first day I got it that I was still chewing it at 1:30 a.m. and Mommy told me ENOUGH! and GO TO BED! You should see how shiny white my teeth are now.

But you have all been wondering about the squirrels mentioned in the title of this blog and I will tell you about it.

First off, I was outside and a I spotted a squirrel who didn't spot me. I crept up on it and got to about 6 feet from it and between the squirrel and the closest tree before he saw me. When he spotted me he froze and looked around for an escape. The nearest trees besides the one I was blocking were all about 12 feet from him. He knew that if he ran to one of those trees I'd get him for sure before he reached it. He stared at me and I stared at him. He faked like he might run one direction then another, but I didn't fall for it. I was waiting for him to lose his nerve and run for one of those trees. Then he went CRAZY!! Instead of running to one of the far trees he ran STRAIGHT FOR ME!! I was so shocked I took a step backwards and that squirrel ran between my legs to the tree behind me and I totally forgot to grab him when he was in reach! I thought Mommy would hurt herself she was laughing so hard. It wasn't funny. The squirrel attacked me!

The second squirrel attack happened a couple days ago. I was walking in the Squirrel Park with Mommy and we stopped at the Squirrel Tree. I love the Squirrel Tree in fall because you never know how many squirrels are going to be in it, and better yet, how many are going to run out of it. I've seen as many as 12 squirrels run out of that tree in one blurry fuzzy gray line. I checked the tree and there was one squirrel inside and he wanted to be outside. He would peek out of the hole at me and I would jump up and try to grab him, but he never put enough of himself outside the tree for me to get. We had a stalemate for about 5 minutes until he ducked all the way back into the tree and vanished for a little bit. Then he came back to the hole with a black walnut in his mouth. Now, for those of you who don't know black walnuts they aren't like regular walnuts. They are a little bigger and instead of having thinish smooth shells they have very thick, very hard shells with pointy parts all over them. Anyway, that squirrel came up to the hole with a black walnut in his mouth and he peeked out at me, then he went to the other side of the hole and peeked out at me, then he went to the top of the hole and peeked out at men, then he went to the bottom of the hole and peeked out at me. I was staring up at him the whole time wondering what he was doing when he suddenly shoved that walnut out of the hole and dropped it right on my head! It hit me between the eyes and I jumped back in shock and that rotten squirrel ran out of the hole and up the tree at that exact moment! Again, Mommy laughed so hard I thought she'd break something. How could she laugh at such unsportsmanlike behavior?

So be warned...squirrels are evil, evil things and they are out to get us. They have stopped obeying the rules of all our squirrel chasing games. Who knows what they will do next?

My First Real Blog Entry

I made myself a new blog today since Geocities is going away. What a shame. I've been there for many years, but at least now people can subscribe to my updates, and who knows, now that it is going to be easier to update blog entries maybe I'll update more than once a month...or not. There are too many bunnies and squirrels out there to chase and bark at to spend too much time blogging. By the way, I caught a bunny on my morning walk today! It was hiding in the bushes. I jumped in, grabbed it and shook it and shook it, then I jumped out and showed Mommy and she said I was a BAD DOG SHAME ON YOU because the bunny was hardly bigger than a chipmunk. I knew that fish had size limits, but I didn't know that bunnies did. Hopefully the DNR man won't come looking for me.