Ewwwww! Part 3

Mommy and I got our coupon! It is for one package of any Kraft processed cheese not just the KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food. There is also no size limit on the package, but there is a price limit. Mommy is going to price all the various packages of KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food she can find. Hopefully we can get a lot of KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food and stay under the price limit. Mmmmmmm KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food.

My Monthly for March

This month didn't start off too well. My tummy problems continued and I started pooping in the house about every 4 days. I'd be fine for 4 or 5 days and then I'd feel sick and poop in the house. Then I'd feel find for 4 or 5 days again then poop. Mommy noticed that I was starting to lose weight too. You could see my hips and spine when you looked at me. So, she called the vet and told her what was happening and the vet said that she thought my good bacteria and yeast in my gut was all out of whack because of A. the ulcer and all the antibiotics I had had to take for it, B. The emotional stress of going to the vet for my checkup, and C. The physical stress of having had my shots at that checkup. She told Mommy to buy me some Forco powder (actually called Forco Dietary Supplement) and give it to me as the package instructed. Mommy bought it and when she opened it up she was kind of surprised by it. She says it looks and smells like what you'd end up with in the final sweeping of a barn.

The first time she gave it to me I sniffed it and refused to eat it or any of the food. She had to put yogurt in my food to get me to eat it. Then the next time she gave it to me I ate all the kibbles around the powder and then bumped the bowl to make more of the powder fall off the kibbles and then ate them. Mommy had to mix yogurt with the powder to get me to eat it. The third time she gave it to me I decided I LIKED the way that barns tasted and I gobbled everything up. The powder has worked too. I only pooped in the house once in the past three weeks (keep reading to find out why) and I'm even off Pepcid now. I do still have tummy aches sometimes and the vet said I now I get to eat oatmeal and yogurt instead of rice and yogurt when that happens so I'm happy about that. I like oatmeal unlike rice which is NEVER yummy no matter how many times Mommy calls it "yummy rice". Everyone keep your paws crossed that the good effects of the Forco powder continues.

I felt so good after a couple days on the powder that I decided to get into the kitchen garbage while Mommy was taking a shower. In the time it took her to shower I got to eat about a 1/2 bag of garbage. I got two spoiled potatoes, two egg shells, some fat off a steak, some paper towels used to wipe up a grease spill, and some plastic wrap. Mommy came in just as I was trying to unwrap the green roast she found at the back of the freezer. I was surprised a few days later when I pooped out paper towels and plastic wrap, but it was better than the runs I got the next day. Mommy says I am my own worst enemy.

Also this month I got to go on some hikes with Mommy, I love hiking even if it makes my back sore. I got to sniff and sniff stuff and roll in stuff and bark at stuff. I was so tired when I got home after one hike that I forgot that I was thunderphobic when the first thunderstorm of the season hit. I looked up to make sure that Mommy was still in the room, but then I went back to sleep. The second storm of the season I DID remember to be thunderphobic and pester Mommy though. Mommy says she needs to take me on 8 mile hikes before each thunderstorm from now own. We saw a coyote on one of our hikes too. Mommy yelled at him to git and he did though.

I met a new dog this month. His name was Frankie and we played runaround for awhile. My back hurt afterward, but it was worth it. The weird thing though was that when I met him again a couple days later HE BIT ME!! I don't understand that at all. My feelings were really hurt. We haven't seen him since so I don't know if he likes me or not. I also met a little tiny dog named Sugar who wanted to play runaround, but her people didn't want her to play with a dog who's head was bigger than her whole self. I did get to sniff her though.

I got to go to Tastee Freeze this month and get a PUP CUP too! It was WONDERFUL. Mommy said it was way too big and I did have a little bit of a tummy ache afterward, but I think it was worth it. Mommy says next month she will tell them that even though I am a big dog I need a Yorkie sized Pup Cup. Mean Mommy.

Mommy did a lot of work in the garden this month and I helped. When she weeded I sat on her lap and when she tried to dig I stood or lay down right where she was digging. I brought her balls so that she could take a break every once in a while and throw them for me. I also lay right in the spot where she was trying to rake. Finally, I dug a nice hole in the veggie garden and planted a tennis ball. I can't wait to see what comes up. I thought maybe it would be a tennis ball tree or a tennis ball bush, but my friend Emily tells me that it will be a tennis ball plant because tennis balls grow underground like potatoes.

Finally I got revenge on the little terrorist, um terrier, that comes out and tries to bite me sometimes on my walk. We were passing his house and he threw himself at the door and barked at me, trying to get the door to open. I looked at him and then I saw that he had left his tennis ball out in the yard. So, I walked up to the ball and picked it up with just my front teeth so he could see I had the ball. I stood in front of him for awhile with the ball in my mouth and when he started getting really mad I strolled very slowly away, carrying his ball. He really went nuts at that and his owner came to the door to yell at him. When he stopped barking I dropped the ball because I didn't really want it. (After all, I'm going to have a ton this fall when the tennis ball plant produces balls). The owner apologized to Mommy for all the barking and Mommy, between laughing, told the owner that I had egged the bad dog on then she called me a brat.

Ewwwww Pt. 2

We got the following e-mail today from Kraft:

"Thank you for visiting www.kraftcheese.com and for letting us know that your KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food were misshapen and had dark crusty edges and spots.

I'm sorry for your experience. The problem you described sounds like there was a possible mechanical failure at our facility. I am sending you a reimbursement coupon via first class mail, which you should receive within 7-10 business days.

We value the quality of the products that leave our facility. We give careful attention to each step of our manufacturing process. Samples from each production run are evaluated before we ship them, in an effort to prevent any unsatisfactory products from entering distribution.

Mistakes can sometimes occur on our production lines. We try to prevent this by stationing inspectors at various points along the production lines, and their duties include watching for malfunctions. Also, our quality control staff makes regular rounds throughout the production area during the day in order to ensure that production equipment is functioning properly.

I hope this information is helpful, and again, I apologize for this experience. Thank you for your loyalty and we hope that your next experience is a good one."

Will let everyone know when/if we get our coupon. My favorite part of the letter is that their American cheese is actually called "KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food"

"Mommy can I have a grilled KRAFT Singles Pasteurized Process Cheese Food sandwich?"

Ewwwww!

Mommy buys Kraft American Cheese Singles because she sometimes likes to snack on them and they are handy to have around in case she needs to give me a pill. We got to about 6 slices from the bottom of our most recent 24 pack and found these three slices (below them is a normal slice):



Mommy sent Kraft an e-mail saying "EWWWWWW!" but in a more literate manner. She wanted to attach the photo, but they had no way for her to do so. We will let you know if anything comes of it.