Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Monthly Diary for November

Let's see...

This month we had Halloween and it was really weird. Mommy usually takes the day off work on Halloween and we take a hike and then she puts up some decorations and then the kids come, but this time Halloween was on a Saturday and I had a chiropractor appointment because I had taken a hard fall chasing a goose. Then we woke up and saw this when Mommy went to let me out in the backyard:

Yup. Mother Nature had played a Halloween trick on us. Our maple tree was down in the yard. So, no hike for us. Instead Timber's daddy came over to our house with Timber's grandpa and a couple of chainsaws and they helped Mommy cut up the tree and then took the good pieces home with them to burn in their fireplaces. I was locked on the porch the WHOLE TIME!! I barked a lot to tell them that I should be allowed to help, but they didn't listen to me. Mommy said anybody who doesn't understand how dangerous a chainsaw is is not allowed in the backyard while chainsaws are running. They finished up the main tree in about an hour, but then it took Mommy until just before the kids started coming to finish up the smaller stuff so Mommy put a few skulls out and the jack-o-lantern she had carved in honor of me the night before

and we managed to be in the house right when the first kid came. They liked my clown costume and I greeted almost all of them and got treats and pets. I only scared a couple. So it wasn't a bad Halloween after all.

Also this month one night I snuck Mommy's kangaroo-fur koala that Grandma and Grandpa had brought her from Australia back in the 1970s out of the house. Mommy didn't see me do it at all! I was very sneaky. It was small enough that I could jam the whole thing in my mouth. When I had it out back I carefully chewed off one of its eyes. The following morning when Mommy and I came back from our walk Mommy spotted it in the yard. At first she didn't know what it was. She could see it was grey fur though and she said, "Did you kill a bunny?" and then she walked up to it and yelled, "SYDNEY!!" She got rather mad at me that I had taken Sydney out for a walk and left him out overnight and chewed his eye off, and she told me I was very very lucky that it hadn't rained overnight. How was I supposed to know that the koala on the back of the display table was not for me to play with? It was stuffed after all.

Another thing that happened this month is that Mommy had the nerve to pin me down and clip ALL my toenails. It seems that she had had a dream the night before that she was trying to relax and nap, but the room was filled with people using typewriters, and just because of that silly dream she decided that I needed to have every single toenail trimmed. I did get a whole slice of American cheese (in little bits--one for each nail) but I'm not sure it was worth it. After the toenail trauma when Mommy would open the fridge I would wait outside the kitchen to see what she was getting out before coming in to beg, and if it was a slice of American cheese I made sure that the clippers were nowhere nearby before I would come up to Mommy. She has ruined me for CHEESE!! She is a terrible Mommy.

Finally this month Mommy got an ear infection. She didn't have to have her ears cleaned with yucky ear cleaner though and she didn't have to be sat on and have ear drops put in her ear either. She says that is because she had an inner ear infection not an outer ear infection like I get. She did have to go to work with sore ears and then this last weekend she got stay in bed sick. I like when she is stay in bed sick on weekdays when she should be at work, but it isn't fun on the weekend when we should be having fun. Also, she takes up too much space in the bed when I want to nap. Mommy should be careful to only get stay in bed sick on days she should be at work.

Oh, for those of you who only read my monthly posts you may want to read the previous three posts because they are short posts about things that happened last month that I thought you might think was funny.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mommy is a Traitor!

On our morning walk we came to a place where there are three black walnut trees in a triangle. Tree 1 and 2 are about eight feet apart on the parkway and tree 3 is about the same distance between the other two and six feet up on the house side of the sidewalk. As we walked towards tree 1 a squirrel came down with a black walnut in his mouth, heading off to, no doubt, drop it on the head of some poor unsuspecting dog. I knew I needed to stop him so I went after him. He dropped the walnut and ran up tree 2. I stood under tree 2, with the abandoned walnut between my back paws, yelling at him when another squirrel came down from tree 3 and crept up behind me, grabbed the walnut and ran up tree 3!! I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye when he was already about two feet up tree 3 and even though I turned and lunged at him I couldn't catch him. Mommy, the traitor, saw the whole thing and DIDN'T ALERT ME and then she had the nerve to laugh at me when I missed the second squirrel!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

What is Up with Those Squirrels?!

The squirrels in the Squirrel Park are NUTS!! I was walking in the park with Mommy and I caught two squirrels unaware. I snuck up on them and then charged and they ran to the nearest tree which was only about 10 feet tall. I wanted to catch them so I jumped and jumped and jumped but I couldn't reach them. I stood under the tree and stared at them. They got more and more nervous and climbed up to the highest branches and tried to reach the tree above them, but they couldn't. I knew I had them! I waited and watched and then they did the craziest thing. Both squirrels jumped out of the tree and over me and landed on the ground behind me! I turned to chase them, but they got to the big tree before I could get there. What is going on?! Since when do squirrels try to fly? Since when do they jump out of trees rather than run down the trunks into my mouth? Have all the rodents in town gone mad? What happened to the rulebook?