My Monthly Diary for December

Well a few things happened this month that I posted right away, so you may want to read the previous entries on my blog. For one thing, it was cold and Mommy made me dress funny. Also, Mommy got attacked by a squirrel! I have also decided to post one Flashback year per month until I get all my old Geocities entires stored here (since Geocities closed down and I lost my storage space there). If you weren't with me from the beginning you might want to read the Flashbacks too to learn more about me and my early years. Other than that, lets see...

We got snow finally! I love snow. I love chasing my basketball in the snow especially. I think that is the best fun. You get to chase the basketball and slip and slide and then when you get it it is cold and covered in snow. And then when you bring it to Mommy is is covered in frozen slobber. It is a great game!

Mommy also bought nuts in the shell for Christmas and she put them on the end table by the couch. I love nuts so I kept stealing them and eating them. I ate all the walnuts first and then the hazel nuts, then the almonds. I can't eat the Brazil nuts because their shells are too hard, but whenever Mommy cracked on for herself I made sure I was there to get a piece. She complained that I had eaten almost all the nuts and she had hardly gotten any. I think she should be happy that I saved her from all those calories. Also, if I wasn't supposed to eat them, she should have put them on top of the fridge with the other good stuff I'm not supposed to eat.

Speaking of good stuff I'm not supposed to eat, the Christmas tree torture is back. This year I know there is a big cookie waiting for me under the tree and one for my cousin Missy too. I really really want to eat them, but Mommy says they are no until Christmas morning. Every once in awhile I'll go back to the tree to make sure they are still there, but then Mommy hears and says, "Merlin! Get out of the presents or I'll tell Santa!" and I have to leave them alone again.

Speaking of Santa, Mommy helped out LEARN (the people she got me from) this month by standing at the front of a PetSmart store and convincing people that their dog/cat/ferret wanted its picture taken with Santa. Mommy tried really hard to get someone to have their newly purchased fish's photo taken with Santa, but all the fish people turned her down. She did a good job though because at one point the photo people told her to slow down because the line was too long. LEARN made $300 for a 1/2 day of Santa photos, which is not bad!

Also this month I ran out of my 3V caps which I take to keep my skin unichy and my coat shiny. Drs. Foster and Smith didn't have any in stock so Mommy had to go to the vet to get them. When my vet heard Mommy talking to the receptionist she came out and said to Mommy, "What did he do now?" I think I am getting a bad reputation at the vet's! Mommy explained that I was fine and we just needed the supplements and the vet was happy. Then she warned Mommy to keep an extra close eye on me on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and NO PEOPLE TREATS! Mean mean vet.

Another thing that happened this month is that Mommy needed to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house after work to celebrate Missy's Mommy's birthday and so the neighbor boy came to our house to let me out and feed me. He likes me a lot so he decided that he would take me home with him after my dinner. I had fun at their house, but I was a bit worried that I had been stolen. I was very happy when he brought me back home late that night and Mommy was there.

Finally the best thing that happened to me this month was (Auntie Naomi, don't get too mad at me) I CAUGHT A SQUIRREL!!!!!

Mommy and I had gone to The Squirrel Tree and I was sniffing for them when a couple of the squirrels got nervous and decided to leave the tree. The first one was a big fat grey squirrel and he ran out and up and I jumped up and just missed him. Then, right on his butt was a big fat black squirrel. I was still up on the tree when he came out of the hole and I made a quick grab and GOT HIM!!! I caught him by his fat butt and fuzzy tail instead of his head and neck so I couldn't shake him dead and he spun around and started scratching and biting at my face and squealing. Mommy started yelling, "OH! OH! OH! Drop it! Drop it!" I did drop it and I quickly stepped on its tail so it couldn't run away. It was still squealing and trying to bite me and I was trying to figure out how to get to its head and neck when Mommy pulled me off the squirrel and it jumped up and ran up the tree. Mean Mommy. I could have shook that squirrel dead eventually!

The Squirrel War Continues

I went to the Squirrel Tree with Mommy this morning and a squirrel was inside. He decided he wanted to be outside and tried to run out and up the tree like they do, BUT he had eaten waaaay too much and was very fat so when he twisted his body to run diagonally out of the tree his big fat butt got caught in the hole! I thought I finally had my chance and jumped up to try to grab him, but instead of staying stuck he turned himself forward and launched himself out of the tree and straight towards Mommy's face! I don't know if he was thinking he could take shelter on top of her head or if he was planning on biting her in retaliation for her letting me go to the Squirrel Tree each morning, and I won't know because Mommy's boxing training kicked in and she did a great duck and weave maneuver which caused the squirrel to miss her. The squirrel landed with a heavy plop into the snow behind her and ran up the next tree before I could get him. Those squirrels are getting crazier!

Flashback to Year 1

When Mommy first got me I was given my predecessor's Geocities page and that is where I kept my diaries. Geocities was a nice little web host, but it failed to go mega social media like MyFace and the like and it closed this fall. So, Mommy rescued my past diaries and has decided to re-post them here for those of you who tuned in late. Here is my first year:

February 20, 2001

I have been with Mommy a month now and so far I have learned the following:

1. Parakeets don't like to be stared at, but that isn't any reason to stop.
2. Parakeets don't like when you jump on their cages and Mommy gets mad too.
3. Don't pee and poop in the house.
4. Sit
5. Lie Down
6. Stay
7. Wait
8. Come
9. Shake Hands
10. High Five
11. Dead Dog
12. Dead tropical plants that strangers dump in your yard can make you sick.
13. Heel only means heel if Mommy says it in her angry voice.
14. If you are tired of playing outside and want to go inside, eat the rosebushes, Mommy will come running.
15. Human beds are much more comfy than doggie beds.
16. If you take a toy at the pet shop and slobber all over it, Mommy will feel obligated to buy it for you.

Mommy has learned some stuff too:

1. Waking up at 6:30 a.m. isn't so bad, but going for long walks at that hour in 5 degree temperatures with a -15 degree windchill is not much fun.
2. 5 degree temperatures with a -15 degree windchill can be made bearable if you wear... a t-shirt, two sweatshirts, sweatpants, jeans, two pairs of socks, thermal boots, a ski mask, a hat, a scarf, a down coat, glove liners and down mittens.
3. Border collies only need to do something once in order for it to become a rule.
4. People with fancy coats and/or fluffy dogs don't like to associate with mutts.
5. People with dirty coats and/or dogs of unknown origin (even if they are really rare pure breeds) like to let their dogs run off leash with mutt puppies.

March 20, 2001

This has been a busy month for me. I've learned how to go down the basement stairs, how to open doors and cabinets and how to make my neighbor come out and give me treats. I've also started obedience classes, but the most important thing I figured out this month was how to pee on trees! It started at the end of last month when I noticed that other dogs had peed high up on trees in the neighborhood. I sniffed and sniffed those trees trying to figure out how those dogs did it. Then I began to experiment. First I tried backing up to the tree until my hind feet were resting about 8 inches up the trunk and peeing, but that didn't work. I just ended up peeing about 3 inches farther away from the tree than I would have if I had squatted next to it. Then I thought that maybe if I got real close to the tree and kind of twisted my body sideways that would do it, but all that did was get pee on my tummy. I got very discouraged and decided to quit trying for awhile. Then Mommy took me to my first obedience class. There was a big wolf hybrid there who was peeing on every post outside the training barn. I watched him carefully and figured out that what you had to do was LIFT YOUR LEG. It was like a light bulb went off in my brain. Mommy said I was going to learn a lot at obedience, but I didn't know it was going to be important stuff! The next morning I decided to try this leg lifting stuff. Well, it isn't as easy as it looks folks. The first time I tried I was concentrating so hard on keeping my balance that I forgot to pee. The next day I tried again, but this time I thought that maybe if I put my lifted foot on the tree I wouldn't have to worry about balancing so much. I tried it, but I ended up peeing on my front foot. That was disgusting. The next day I tried the balancing part again and managed to pee, but then I fell over. Mommy laughed at that attempt! Finally the following day I lifted my leg and successfully peed on a telephone pole. Mommy said, "Hooray!" and clapped and I was very proud of myself. I have been practicing this new skill as much as I can. Mommy says I have to learn the subtleties now. Things like, there is no point in lifting your leg really high if you are trying to pee on a railroad tie or low rock and peeing on chain link fences doesn't really work. I think I'll be an expert at this by next month.

April 17, 2001

Another busy month. Mommy and I have been taking obedience classes, but I don't think they are helping much. Mommy has gotten bossier, not more obedient. I have countered by being more stubborn, sillier, and ignoring her most of the time. I have also discovered that it is much more fun to be the class clown than teacher's pet. I will do all of the tricks, like "sit" and "wait" when we are practicing at home, but once we get to class I like to make a fool of Mommy. Mommy says, "Sit!" and I will flop over on my side. Mommy says, "Heel!" and I grab the leash in my mouth and shake it and jump around. I also like to bark at the other dogs and try to jump on the trainers. My favorite part of class though is the trainers. They are these ladies who have WONDERFUL treats (like liver and bacon and hot dogs) that they hand out. Mommy says she can't use those treats because I get the runs if I have too many so she gives me kibble and low fat jerky treats, but the trainers' treats are much better. I like to get the trainers' attention by behaving as described above and then when they say to Mommy, "May I show you how it's done?" and Mommy grumbles, "Sure." they take my leash and I pretend like I don't understand the command the first time. Then they do it again and I do the command PERFECTLY. They then hug and kiss me and give me the wonderful treats and Mommy rolls her eyes. Mommy says she doesn't think I'll graduate and I hope that is true if it means I'll get to keep going back and getting those good treats!

Also this month Mommy took me to the State Park. We had a good time.

My first deer sighting

My first deer poop

Finally, I learned over Easter Weekend that one should not eat daffodils. They make you throw up and throw up and throw up. Then Mommy calls the Emergency Vet and they tell her that you can't have food or water for 12 HOURS after the last throw up. Later that night you get really bad gas. (I found it was best to sleep with my butt-end by Mommy's head that night.) The next day you feel all feverish and mopey and don't really want to eat when the 12 hours are up anyway. It wasn't fun. So now, I just pull the heads off Mommy's daffodils and spit them out rather than eat them. I also find they are fun to run through and squash by sitting on them.

May 22, 2001

Two major happenings this month. First, I graduated from obedience school. I was last in my class, but I think I was really the smartest. After all, I figured out how to get extra good treats by misbehaving. When we had our final exam I did everything right. After the trainer handed Mommy my diploma, and he reached out to shake her hand, I jumped on him! Mommy said she was glad she had the diploma in her hand so he couldn't take it back.

Second, I went on vacation this month. Mommy and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was a 5 hour drive, and I got kind of antsy after the first 1 1/2 hours. Then at the 2 1/2 hour point I had to go potty so mommy stopped at a rest area. I met a golden retriever and I went potty and I walked around for a bit and I had a drink. Then Mommy said it was time to get back in the car. I didn't want to do that. I thought we were going to turn around and go home. What kind of trip was this?? I sat down and refused to move. Mommy had to drag me into the car. Boy was I surprised when 2 1/2 hours later we were not back home but in an entirely different place. It was in the woods and there was a lake.

Another dog came running up to see me. He was my cousin Harley. He is about 9 years old and is a lab mix too. He has arthritis and a bit of hip dysplasia. We ran around like crazy for awhile. It was great. Then Harley got tired and he didn't want to play anymore, but I still wanted to. He would growl and snap at me, but I didn't give up. He decided to spend the rest of the day and the following day in his daddies' truck.

The second day another cousin came up. His name is Fred and he is a Bernese Mountain dog. We ran around all day and the next day Harley, Fred and I played Follow the Leader. Harley was leader. He sniffed a bush then Fred sniffed it, then I sniffed it. Harley peed on a tree then Fred peed on it then I peed on it. It was a fun game. After we finished that game I played Chew on Fred's Ears. Later that night Fred got tired of me jumping on him and biting his ears so he growled and snapped at me. He has a VERY BIG mouth and it scared me A LOT so I gave Fred more space after that.

Mommy and Grandpa went out in a canoe. They invited me to come along, but I was afraid of the boat, so I just ran along the shore. When they went back home I didn't notice right away. Grandpa was already up by the boathouse when I saw that they were out of the canoe. I came running back, full speed, and crashed into Grandpa. I hit him right in the knee and he fell down. He said that I twisted his knee and it was all swollen that night. Sorry Grandpa!

Harley and Fred had to go home before I did so they didn't get to see me learn how to swim, but maybe next time we are up there together I can show them. When it was time to go home I didn't want to go. Mommy couldn't even drag me into the car, so she lured me in with cheese. When we got home I peed in the basement, right in front of Mommy so that she would know how angry I was.

June 22, 2001

This was a stay at home month. No vacations, no classes, but that doesn't mean that I didn't do anything. This month I went to the forest preserves a lot with Mommy. I love going there. There are so many things to sniff, eat and roll in. Horse poop was my favorite. I like to both eat it and roll in it. On one of our hikes I met a couple of horses too. Mommy told me they were big dogs, but I knew they were the suppliers of the poop and I really wanted to meet them. Mommy wouldn't let me though. The riders said I was very well behaved because I didn't bark at them, I only jumped around.

This month I started a nice hole under the lilacs. It is about 2 1/2 feet deep now. I like it there because it is shady and I can watch Mommy when she is in the vegetable garden. After Mommy finishes working hard in the garden she sometimes takes me to Tastee Freeze. I really like that place because if Mommy buys something for herself they will give me a Pup Cup. That is a cup of vanilla frozen yogurt with a dog biscuit on top. I LOVE the Tastee Freeze and try to get Mommy to go to it every day. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be open at 6:30 a.m., but I like to look in the pick up window each time just to be sure that nobody is hiding in there.

I also got my nails clipped this month because I accidentally ripped up my neighbor's arm when he was leaning over the fence to give me my treat. I wasn't very good at the groomer's and she only managed to trim my front feet because I didn't want my back feet done. If I don't want you to lift my back foot off the ground, you don't lift it. Those greyhound leg muscles come in very handy at times.

Mommy also took me to a picnic that a coworker was hosting. That was fun, even if I wasn't allowed in the forest preserve shelter. Lots of people visited with me and I hardly jumped on them at all. I even got to play pull-toy with an elderly lady. I was very nice and didn't try to take her cane even once and I pulled the toy very gently so as not to tip her over. Mommy said she nearly had a heart attack anyway when she saw what we were doing.

July 17, 2001

Mommy and I traveled again this month. We went to Grandma and Grandpa's place in Wisconsin again. This time my dog cousins weren't there. I looked for them for awhile, but Mommy said that it is more common for them to not be there then to be there. So, I peed on the living room carpet that night to let them know I had come for a visit. I had a great time chasing chipmunks in the woods and I went to visit the neighbors too. (you can read about that in the Bad Dog Chronicles). Mommy said I got a bit cocky so I had to wear my long yellow leash one day to remind me to stay around. I also improved my swimming skills. I went out about 150 feet into the lake after the sticks Mommy threw. I swim VERY FAST. Those greyhound legs with labbie dog feet attached make me quite the swimmer. I didn't learn how to jump off the dock, even though Mommy jumped off about two dozen times trying to show me how it is done. I guess I need to have someone with four legs show me. I don't really like it when Mommy swims. It worries me, so I barked a bit, but then Mommy taught me that if I am not going to swim with her I should hold her towel for her. I am a good towel holder, but not a very good towel giver backer. I also rode in each of the boats. I liked the speedboat a lot, the canoe was okay and the pedal boat was slippery. The scupper was not much fun at all because I had to keep very still so that Mommy and I wouldn't tip. I slept all the way home from vacation and the entire next day and night too. Vacations are very tiring.

Canoe ride

In the big boat

Pedal boat

Other than that not much else has happened. The coyotes are back in the neighborhood. I heard them the other night while Mommy and I were out on the porch. I got all bristled and ran around the porch barking at them to stay away. Then I sat by the porch door and howled. It is the first time Mommy has heard me howl and she says she wonders how come my howl is so deep when I still bark like a chihuahua.

Oh yeah. Mommy made a turkey breast the other day and I jumped up on the counter while she was putting things away and took a great big bite out of it. MMMMM. Then yesterday I took a smaller bite out of the leftovers and today I took Mommy's turkey sandwich off the counter and ate it. It was worth the "time outs" in my cage each time.


August 21, 2001

This was a month of firsts. I had my First Birthday, but since we don't know when it really was, Mommy decided we wouldn't celebrate. She said that we are going to celebrate my adoption day instead because that is more important. I also moved out of my crate this month. I now spend my alone time in my room behind baby gates. I still have my crate in my room in case I want to sit in it, but I don't have to spend my time in it. I have been rather good and have only chewed a few things (a burglar bar, a rag that Mommy didn't know was in the room, some of my newspapers and the plastic that is under my crate.) Mommy says that if I keep being good I will get to move into the hallway soon.

This month Mommy and I stumbled across a puppy playgroup (really it stumbled across us as we were at the park first). It is a big group of retrievers of all sorts as well as one smallish mutt and an old German shepherd who makes sure that everyone plays nice. Mommy lets me go back to playgroup every other week. I can only go every other week because all the other dog owners are men and Mommy says that boys don't like it when girls try to join their secret clubs.

I also had my friend Teddy over to play in my yard. We saw him while we were walking and Mommy invited him and his Mommy over. It was lots of fun, but Teddy was being too good and wouldn't roughhouse as much as he does when we meet on the street. Mommy says he was being a good guest and I should take notes. I don't really understand what she meant by that.


September 18, 2001

Well, this month Mommy packed away my crate. She tried to give me the hallway to hang out in during my alone time, but I got too upset that I couldn't go into the bedroom, so she gave me the spot by the back door instead. With the crate out of my room and the spot by the back door too, I have a lot more space. Mommy says that the next step is the basement where I get to be around FURNITURE and PILLOWS and STUFFED ANIMALS and BOOKS without Mommy being there to constantly take them out of my mouth. Mommy made a special baby gate to keep me out of the boiler room and right now we are practicing being in the basement and I am getting better at leaving the pillows and the books alone, but the stuffed animals are really too much to ask.

Mommy took me to the lake again and this time we had guests. They were good guests and brought me two toys (and Mommy a cake). I liked trying to sit in their laps and making them play with me and jumping on them and when they didn't pay enough attention to me because they had the gall to eat dinner I peed in the living room. Mommy got very angry and I had to spend the rest of the night until bedtime outside. Bad Mommy.

Lastly, I learned this month why Mommy is always saying, "Leave that toad alone." and "Don't pick up that toad." and "Okay, time to stop playing with that toad." Toads taste REALLY REALLY BAD and they make your mouth foam up and you have to drink two bowls of water and you still have a foamy mouth and bad toad taste. I still like to chase them and poke them with my nose, but I think I will try to remember not to pick them up.

October 23, 2001

This month I have not been very good. Mommy has done a lot of nice things for me, but I have become a teenager and am being a real brat. When Mommy was home sick I bit her favorite plant off at dirt level. Mommy had grown that plant from seed and was VERY upset by my vandalism. I guess it is because I've been hearing, "NO!" so often that I became suspicious when my youngest uncle made me a really nice feeding station so that I don't have to bend over to eat. When Mommy finished finishing it and put food in it for the fist time, I was convinced it was a trap. I am not supposed to eat off of tables and then this little table shows up and Mommy puts dog food on it. Come on, I knew she was just waiting to yell, "NO!" at me when I took my first bite, so I refused to eat off of it when she was watching. Finally, she started reading her paper so I took a big mouthful of food and dropped it onto the floor to eat. I did that a couple more times until I noticed that Mommy WAS watching me and I wasn't in trouble. Now I eat out of the new station just fine.

My biggest bad boy thing this month has been the chaos I have created while Mommy is gone. She gave me the basement and I had a lot of fun destroying stuffed animals. She took the basement away and I decided to start chewing the door frames. So far I have killed three stuffed animals and maimed seven others. I pulled a wall hanging off the wall. I have eaten two door frames (one painted, one stained), the handle of the sliding door, and the handrail for the basement stairs. Then to top everything off I stood on the basement couch and peed yesterday. Mommy says she would skin me and turn me into a rug, but I am so long and skinny I wouldn't even make a good runner, so it isn't worth the effort. I THINK she is kidding.

November 20, 2001

This was a strange month. First Mommy walked around the house one night fiddling with the clocks. Then the next morning, when the alarm didn't go off at 6:30 I let Mommy sleep an extra half hour and then I woke her up. She just grunted and said, "You're an hour early." I went and looked out the window. Nope, Mommy was wrong. It was 7:00. I poked her again and she said, "It's 6:00. Go back to sleep." I checked the window again. It was definitely 7:00. So I poked Mommy again and she said, "If you don't play quietly for another half hour, at least, you are going to spend the next hour in your room." I don't like being in my room when Mommy is home so I decided to play quietly. First I got my chewbone and I pushed it up against Mommy's neck and I chewed. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Mommy took my bone away from me and shoved it under her pillow. Then I got my tennis ball and I chewed on it. Then I tossed it a bit. Boing! Off Mommy's head! Boing! Off Mommy's back! Boing! Oops it fell off the bed. Hop off and get it. Hop back on the bed. Hey that was fun. Let's do it again! After a few hops on and off the bed Mommy took my ball and shoved it under her pillow. Then I found my squeeky toy. I lay on my back next to Mommy and played quietly. SQUEEEE...KEEEE! SQUEEE...KEEEE! SQUEEKEE! SQUEEEE...KEEEE! SQUEEKEE! SQUEEEE...KEEEE! SQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEE
SQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEE
SQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEESQUEEKEE!! Mommy got up and gave me breakfast. She insisted it was only 6:30, but I knew better.

The next day Mommy started "Hat Practice." I had to wear this silly hat, but if I did it well, I got a treat. I got so that I would wear the hat quite nicely. A few days later something called Halloween happened. On Halloween Mommy took the middle pane of the front storm door out and filled a bowl with chocolate candy. Then the doorbell rang and Mommy made me wear my hat. When we answered the door there were these strangely dressed little kids outside. I wanted to play, but Mommy just held out the bowl and the kids took some candy and then they left. I was very upset. I wanted to PLAY! So, as Mommy was closing the door I shoved her aside and jumped out the window. Mommy grabbed me by the tip of my tail and stopped me from chasing after the kids. I turned around to bite her hand and she grabbed my collar. She folded me in half and pulled me back in through the window. Then she put my leash on me. I was very mad and I went to bed to pout, but a few minutes later the doorbell rang and more kids came. I got to really like all the visitors coming and I spent the time when no body was at the door looking out the window for more kids.

Finally this month I performed The Great Barbie Rescue. Mommy and I were walking late one night and when we got to a neighbor's house the neighbor said, "Watch where you step. We have lost some Barbies in the leaf pile. We're going to have to get up early tomorrow to try to find them before they come and collect the leaves." I was standing by the leaf pile and I smelled the yummy smell of plastic, so I jumped in the pile and pulled out A BARBIE! Mommy took it away from me and handed it to the neighbor. She was very impressed and Mommy said, "Should we try that again?" The neighbor said, "Sure." so Mommy said, "Where's another dolly?" I jumped back into the leaves and came out with another Barbie. The neighbor called her daughter out and said, "How many Barbies are out here?" The daughter said there were five. I jumped in the leaves two more times and came out with two more Barbies. The neighbor asked her daughter which Barbie was missing and the little girl said, "Black Haired Barbie with a Blue Dress." I jumped into the leaf pile and pulled out a black haired Barbie with a blue dress. Everyone was very impressed. The little girl went and got me a treat, but she was afraid to hand it to me so she put it on the sidewalk for me. Then the neighbor thanked Mommy and Mommy said we should leave. I didn't want to leave. I smelled more plastic. I refused to go. Mommy said, "Merlin, there were five Barbies and you found them all." I kept pulling towards the leaf pile. Mommy said, "Okay, go look, but you are not going to find anything." I dove back into the pile and was in there for quite a while. Mommy kept saying, "See, no more dollies." I refused to get out. Finally I found it. One more Barbie. I pulled it out of the leaves and brought it to Mommy. Mommy gave it to the neighbor who said, "Bride Barbie!! But Bride Barbie never leaves the house!" and everyone gave me lots of pets.

December 18, 2001

Mommy and I have been locked in a power struggle this month. For some reason Mommy thinks she is supposed to be in charge. I disagree. I am the one who should be in charge, especially when we are out on our walks. I like to walk way ahead of Mommy and choose how fast we walk and where we go. Mommy seems to think I should be only kind of in front of her and only when she says it's okay. She also thinks we should walk at her snail pace.

I broke my choke chain a few months ago and Mommy got me a heavier one which I liked a lot because it hardly choked, even when she snapped it. Therefore I had much more control on our walks. Then, since it didn't hurt to yank hard on the leash, I broke my zip leash chasing squirrels. Mommy wasn't happy, but she bought me a new zip leash. About two days after I got it, I pulled it out of her hand and cracked the casing. Stingy Mommy put it back together with electrical tape rather than buy me another new one. Then, about 3 weeks ago, Mommy and I were on our walk when I saw two malamutes that I had never seen before. I wanted to say hi, but Mommy said no. So I showed her, I yanked the leash out of her hand and crossed the street and ran the two blocks to the other dogs. Mommy claims she was yelling, "NO!! STOP!! WAIT!! SIT!! COME!!" and such as she chased after me, but I sure didn't hear her. When I got to the other dogs they weren't very happy to see me and neither was their owner. When Mommy caught up she wasn't very happy either. We went straight home. I got put in my room and Mommy drove off.

When Mommy came home she had a bag from the pet store. I LOVE BAGS FROM THE PET STORE. I was very excited, but all that was in this bag was a small box. Mommy said, "I didn't want to do this because people are going to think it is a muzzle, but if you are going to act like a runaway racehorse and a stubborn mule, you can dress like a runaway racehorse and a stubborn mule." Then she put this horrible thing over my face! It was awful! She says it is called a head collar, but I think it is some medieval torture device. She offered me treats, but I was too upset to take them for at least a minute. Then after I had eaten the treats she hooked my leash on this thing and took me for a walk. Well, I felt so stupid in that head thing that I bucked and rolled and rubbed my face on anything I could find. Mommy just laughed and said I'd have to get used to it. I didn't want to get used to it. It took ALL THE CONTROL away from me and gave it back to Mommy!! Therefore, I fought it on all our walks. I really showed her on the third walk. I rubbed my nose so much I rubbed it bloody. But even that didn't work. When we got home Mommy put peroxide on my nose to stop the bleeding. OUCH!!

After about one and a half weeks though, I figured out that if I didn't rub the nose part, and instead rubbed the part that goes behind my ears (especially if I could hook it on a bush) I'd loosen the entire device. Then I sat down and did the mule trick and when Mommy pulled, POP! My nose came right out! Then Mommy had to try to get back control when all I had was a loose piece of webbing around my neck. It was lots of fun. I pulled that trick twice and then Mommy sewed the head collar in one position. GRRRR. So the head collar battle continues. I have stopped rolling around and bucking and I don't rub very much either now. Instead what I do is slam my head into Mommy's thigh whenever the head collar stops me from doing something I want to do. Sometimes I also like to stick my head between her legs when she is walking, because that trips her. Mommy says she is not giving up the head collar. She likes it too much. Well, we'll just have to see which disappears first, the scar on my nose or the big bruise on Mommy's thigh.

January 23, 2002

This was a month of celebrations. First there was this thing called Christmas. Mommy hosted Christmas Eve. She had Grandma and Grandpa and my youngest uncle (the one who made my feeding station) and a former neighbor over for Christmas Eve dinner. I was very good. I just ate a few of the hors d'ouvres and I only licked the ham once. (Grandma and Mommy didn't tell anyone about me doing that!) When dinner was over and the guests were leaving, Grandpa said, "What's this on the door?" Mommy and I went and looked an it was a plastic bag full of pig ears and raw hides and there was a not inside from Santa Paws telling me that I had been very good this year.

The next day was Christmas Day and I got to open five presents. I had been wanting to open presents for weeks, but Mommy wouldn't let me. When the time came I was afraid to at first (I figured it was a trick), but then after I opened the first one and found a bullystick inside I was more than happy to open the other ones. I got a big ball (I popped it in 1 minute), two stuffed squeekies, a squeeky ball and the bullystick. It was great!

Finally, the most important celebration was on January 19. That is the anniversary of my adoption by Mommy. Mommy bought me a year-long pass to the county dog parks and we went to one. I had a great time. I ran and ran for an hour and a half straight. Mommy wanted to take me walking, but I was too busy chasing the other dogs and taking their toys and getting in wrestling matches and jumping on their mommies and daddies. Mommy kept calling me and telling me, "OFF!" and stuff, but I didn't listen. It took Mommy about 1/2 hour to catch me at the end too. When we got home Mommy had made a chicken and rice diner and I got my own serving. MMMMMMM. It was a good first anniversary, and I guess Mommy is really going to keep me after all.

Winter is Here!

Mommy and I woke up to -2 degrees Fahrenheit temperatures today with high winds. We figure it was probably -24 F with the wind chill. So we had to bundle up for my morning 2 mile walk. Mommy is wearing: two pairs of socks, thermal boots, sweatpants, overalls, a t-shirt, a thin worn out sweatshirt, a thick warm hoodie, a homemade variation on a balaclava, a scarf, a hat, glove warmers, wool and thermal fleece mittens, and a down jacket. I wore a sweatshirt because Mommy didn't want the metal parts of my harness to touch my skin. We got some interesting looks from the commuters in their cars, so Mommy figured she should take our picture when we got home.

At first I had trouble figuring out that I really could pee while wearing the shirt, but once I tried it and found out there was no problem I did my normal marking. I also got to go to the Squirrel Tree, but the squirrels didn't want to come out and play. They are such wimps.

Keep warm!

My Monthly Diary for November

Let's see...

This month we had Halloween and it was really weird. Mommy usually takes the day off work on Halloween and we take a hike and then she puts up some decorations and then the kids come, but this time Halloween was on a Saturday and I had a chiropractor appointment because I had taken a hard fall chasing a goose. Then we woke up and saw this when Mommy went to let me out in the backyard:



Yup. Mother Nature had played a Halloween trick on us. Our maple tree was down in the yard. So, no hike for us. Instead Timber's daddy came over to our house with Timber's grandpa and a couple of chainsaws and they helped Mommy cut up the tree and then took the good pieces home with them to burn in their fireplaces. I was locked on the porch the WHOLE TIME!! I barked a lot to tell them that I should be allowed to help, but they didn't listen to me. Mommy said anybody who doesn't understand how dangerous a chainsaw is is not allowed in the backyard while chainsaws are running. They finished up the main tree in about an hour, but then it took Mommy until just before the kids started coming to finish up the smaller stuff so Mommy put a few skulls out and the jack-o-lantern she had carved in honor of me the night before



and we managed to be in the house right when the first kid came. They liked my clown costume and I greeted almost all of them and got treats and pets. I only scared a couple. So it wasn't a bad Halloween after all.

Also this month one night I snuck Mommy's kangaroo-fur koala that Grandma and Grandpa had brought her from Australia back in the 1970s out of the house. Mommy didn't see me do it at all! I was very sneaky. It was small enough that I could jam the whole thing in my mouth. When I had it out back I carefully chewed off one of its eyes. The following morning when Mommy and I came back from our walk Mommy spotted it in the yard. At first she didn't know what it was. She could see it was grey fur though and she said, "Did you kill a bunny?" and then she walked up to it and yelled, "SYDNEY!!" She got rather mad at me that I had taken Sydney out for a walk and left him out overnight and chewed his eye off, and she told me I was very very lucky that it hadn't rained overnight. How was I supposed to know that the koala on the back of the display table was not for me to play with? It was stuffed after all.

Another thing that happened this month is that Mommy had the nerve to pin me down and clip ALL my toenails. It seems that she had had a dream the night before that she was trying to relax and nap, but the room was filled with people using typewriters, and just because of that silly dream she decided that I needed to have every single toenail trimmed. I did get a whole slice of American cheese (in little bits--one for each nail) but I'm not sure it was worth it. After the toenail trauma when Mommy would open the fridge I would wait outside the kitchen to see what she was getting out before coming in to beg, and if it was a slice of American cheese I made sure that the clippers were nowhere nearby before I would come up to Mommy. She has ruined me for CHEESE!! She is a terrible Mommy.

Finally this month Mommy got an ear infection. She didn't have to have her ears cleaned with yucky ear cleaner though and she didn't have to be sat on and have ear drops put in her ear either. She says that is because she had an inner ear infection not an outer ear infection like I get. She did have to go to work with sore ears and then this last weekend she got stay in bed sick. I like when she is stay in bed sick on weekdays when she should be at work, but it isn't fun on the weekend when we should be having fun. Also, she takes up too much space in the bed when I want to nap. Mommy should be careful to only get stay in bed sick on days she should be at work.

Oh, for those of you who only read my monthly posts you may want to read the previous three posts because they are short posts about things that happened last month that I thought you might think was funny.

Mommy is a Traitor!

On our morning walk we came to a place where there are three black walnut trees in a triangle. Tree 1 and 2 are about eight feet apart on the parkway and tree 3 is about the same distance between the other two and six feet up on the house side of the sidewalk. As we walked towards tree 1 a squirrel came down with a black walnut in his mouth, heading off to, no doubt, drop it on the head of some poor unsuspecting dog. I knew I needed to stop him so I went after him. He dropped the walnut and ran up tree 2. I stood under tree 2, with the abandoned walnut between my back paws, yelling at him when another squirrel came down from tree 3 and crept up behind me, grabbed the walnut and ran up tree 3!! I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye when he was already about two feet up tree 3 and even though I turned and lunged at him I couldn't catch him. Mommy, the traitor, saw the whole thing and DIDN'T ALERT ME and then she had the nerve to laugh at me when I missed the second squirrel!!

What is Up with Those Squirrels?!

The squirrels in the Squirrel Park are NUTS!! I was walking in the park with Mommy and I caught two squirrels unaware. I snuck up on them and then charged and they ran to the nearest tree which was only about 10 feet tall. I wanted to catch them so I jumped and jumped and jumped but I couldn't reach them. I stood under the tree and stared at them. They got more and more nervous and climbed up to the highest branches and tried to reach the tree above them, but they couldn't. I knew I had them! I waited and watched and then they did the craziest thing. Both squirrels jumped out of the tree and over me and landed on the ground behind me! I turned to chase them, but they got to the big tree before I could get there. What is going on?! Since when do squirrels try to fly? Since when do they jump out of trees rather than run down the trunks into my mouth? Have all the rodents in town gone mad? What happened to the rulebook?

My New Theme Song

My Monthy Diary for October, or When Squirrels Attack

Yes, this month was the month of the vicious squirrels, but I will get to that later.

First off this month Mommy got sick. She was coughing and sneezing and had a low grade fever so I let her stay in bed all day on the Saturday she was sick, but then on Sunday afternoon her fever broke so I told her it was time to get up and take a hike. Mommy said no, she was not going to hike,so I got my big Grunty Fish and smooshed it into her head. Mommy told me to go away, I smooshed her with Grunty Fish, Mommy pulled the covers over her head, I pulled the covers off the bed and smooshed her with Grunty Fish. Mommy said she was too sick to hike, I smooshed her with Grunty Fish. Mommy gave up, got dressed and took me for a very slow three mile hike. We stopped a lot, but that was okay because we were hiking. The next day Mommy's fever came back so she stayed in bed AGAIN! That afternoon I got Mommy up and told her that it was nice outside and we should be in the backyard. Mommy said she was too sick, but I bugged her and bugged her until she gave up and brought a sleeping bag and pillow out to the hammock so she could sleep while I chased squirrels and sat in the sun. Mommy really needs to think about me more when she is sick.

Also this month Mommy has been bad to me because she is walking my neighbor Benji three nights a week because his mommy hurt her back. I don't like Benji, he is a snot and tries to bite me so we can't walk together. So, Mommy goes and takes him for short walks after we take our long one. When they pass our house Benji slows down and sniffs MY grass and looks at me and acts snotty until I get mad and start barking at him. So, in revenge now when I pass Benji's house I slow down and sniff HIS grass until he barks.

Oh, I also hurt my back again playing with a ball in the backyard. I was throwing it around and chasing it and I stepped wrong and fell. My back was really sore that night and Mommy had to give me a Tramadol around midnight. I woke her up again at 4 am and asked for another pill, but Mommy said no. So I asked to go out and refused to come back in. Finally Mommy gave me two pieces of cheese like she does when I get pills and I came inside and went to bed and waited for the pills to kick in, but they didn't. Mean Mommy had left the pills out of the cheese! She did give me another pill later that morning and I had to stay on them for a few days. My back feels better now, but it still hurts a little if I overdo it.

Also this month Mommy got me the best present EVER. It was an elk antler. It is even better than butcher bones (which I can't have anymore). I chewed it so much the first day I got it that I was still chewing it at 1:30 a.m. and Mommy told me ENOUGH! and GO TO BED! You should see how shiny white my teeth are now.

But you have all been wondering about the squirrels mentioned in the title of this blog and I will tell you about it.

First off, I was outside and a I spotted a squirrel who didn't spot me. I crept up on it and got to about 6 feet from it and between the squirrel and the closest tree before he saw me. When he spotted me he froze and looked around for an escape. The nearest trees besides the one I was blocking were all about 12 feet from him. He knew that if he ran to one of those trees I'd get him for sure before he reached it. He stared at me and I stared at him. He faked like he might run one direction then another, but I didn't fall for it. I was waiting for him to lose his nerve and run for one of those trees. Then he went CRAZY!! Instead of running to one of the far trees he ran STRAIGHT FOR ME!! I was so shocked I took a step backwards and that squirrel ran between my legs to the tree behind me and I totally forgot to grab him when he was in reach! I thought Mommy would hurt herself she was laughing so hard. It wasn't funny. The squirrel attacked me!

The second squirrel attack happened a couple days ago. I was walking in the Squirrel Park with Mommy and we stopped at the Squirrel Tree. I love the Squirrel Tree in fall because you never know how many squirrels are going to be in it, and better yet, how many are going to run out of it. I've seen as many as 12 squirrels run out of that tree in one blurry fuzzy gray line. I checked the tree and there was one squirrel inside and he wanted to be outside. He would peek out of the hole at me and I would jump up and try to grab him, but he never put enough of himself outside the tree for me to get. We had a stalemate for about 5 minutes until he ducked all the way back into the tree and vanished for a little bit. Then he came back to the hole with a black walnut in his mouth. Now, for those of you who don't know black walnuts they aren't like regular walnuts. They are a little bigger and instead of having thinish smooth shells they have very thick, very hard shells with pointy parts all over them. Anyway, that squirrel came up to the hole with a black walnut in his mouth and he peeked out at me, then he went to the other side of the hole and peeked out at me, then he went to the top of the hole and peeked out at men, then he went to the bottom of the hole and peeked out at me. I was staring up at him the whole time wondering what he was doing when he suddenly shoved that walnut out of the hole and dropped it right on my head! It hit me between the eyes and I jumped back in shock and that rotten squirrel ran out of the hole and up the tree at that exact moment! Again, Mommy laughed so hard I thought she'd break something. How could she laugh at such unsportsmanlike behavior?

So be warned...squirrels are evil, evil things and they are out to get us. They have stopped obeying the rules of all our squirrel chasing games. Who knows what they will do next?

My Monthly Diary Entry for September

September has been full of hikes hikes hikes hikes. Mommy and I decided to see if we could make up for all our missed hikes for June and July and maybe even possibly manage to do 100 miles before the end of November (our county is having a 100 mile challenge which would have been nothing for us if I hadn't broken my back). Anyway we did 50 miles in September so I think we are going to make the 100 since I only have 37 miles left to go and two months to do them in. Keep your paws crossed for me!

I took lots of photos on my hikes until the MerlinCam fried its little brains. Mommy wrote the company where we got the MerlinCam from to ask if others have complained about this (or if the swim it took a few months ago finally did it in), but they didn't answer. Now Mommy has to decide if she is going to buy me another camera. Maybe I'll get a new one for Christmas.

Other than hiking, Mommy and I have been taking it easy in September. I get to go get cookies from the feed store guys and take normal walks again, although Mommy decided that a 6 mile morning walk followed by a 6 mile afternoon hike and then a 3 mile morning walk and a 5 mile afternoon hike in one weekend is a bit much for me these days even if they weren't pre back injury. So we are now going to not do long morning walks if we are planning long afternoon hikes and if we take a long morning walk, we will take a short afternoon hike.

Speaking of back injuries, Benji the terrier down the street's mom hurt her back and she can't walk Benji anymore so Kachina's family has been walking him, but the injury is taking much longer to heal than they expected and they can't walk him as much as they were so last night, after Mommy and I took our walk Mommy went off without me and then, while I was watching out the front window what did I see? Mommy walking Benji down our street!!!! I was highly offended. Benji is mean to me and tries to bite me and always barks at me when he sees me and Mommy is walking him and not me?!! I glared at them as they passed the house and then again as they passed going back to Benji's house. When Mommy came in I sniffed her and stuck to her like glue. She couldn't go into the next room without me following her right at her side. When she went to sit on the couch I sat on her. At bedtime I lay on top of her. She is not going to cheat on me again!

Finally, today Mommy and I were taking our morning walk when the sheriff's K-9 cop car drove by us. The German shepherd dog in the back THREW himself at the metal bars on his window barking, scratching, growling and threatening to eat me! I got all upset and barked back at him and kept looking over my shoulder for him for the rest of the walk home. Mommy said he is going to have to go back to the trainer for a refresher course, but I think he was just a big stupid bully. Anyway, about an hour after we got home I started to feel sick. I drooled and paced and wanted to sit on Mommy. Mommy gave me a 1/2 a Pepsid, but it didn't help so she called the vet. The vet said she thought my ulcer was acting up again and the scary dog could very well have been what set it off. She told Mommy to give me Carafate again. When I saw the Carafate syringe I decided I wanted to go out, but it didn't help. Mommy caught me and I had to take the icky stuff. Now I have to take it again for three days and my Pepsid is back up to 10 mg twice a day from the 5 mg twice a day we were down to (and we were about to cut me down to 5 mg once a day too!) Stupid GSD!! Mommy thinks she should bill the sheriff's office for my meds.

Early Morning Monsters

I can't believe in my last pupdate that I forgot to tell you all about the early morning MONSTERS that Mommy and I had encounters with while on vacation. It was in our second week at Grandma and Grandpa's house, after Auntie Naomi and Uncle Fred had left. We were woken up one morning around 4 a.m. by a tussle and growling outside our window. Now, the house is kind of weird and even though our room is on the second floor of the house our windows are at ground level so it was like the growling was happening right in our room! I'm smart and I sleep on top of the covers, unlike silly Mommy who insists on sleeping under them, so I was able to leap right up and run to the window and BARK!BARK!BARK! at the monsters before Mommy could even get on her feet. Mommy went to the window with me and looked outside but couldn't see anything. I thought we should go out and chase the monsters since it was around full moon time and very bright outside, but Mommy said no, they could wait until sunlight. When we got up in the morning I wanted to go out right away so we did. I led Mommy to where the fight had been and I sniffed and sniffed while Mommy checked out the footprints. Mommy and I concluded that a fox and a raccoon had been fighting over something yummy outside our window. I tracked the fox to a hole that was dug by a tree and Mommy bet me that the fox had taken the yummy thing and burried it there and then gotten it later. When we went for our real walk we found a whole bunch of hawk feathers and so we think the yummy thing had been a hawk that the fox had got when it swooped down on something small like a squirrel in the full moon light. Mommy and I figured that was the end of the monsters since the hawk was probably all eaten up by that afternoon, but we were WRONG!

A couple nights later around 4 a.m. again I woke Mommy up and said I had to go potty. Since I had gone to bed that night around 6 p.m. Mommy believed me and got up to go out with me. We went out in the backyard and I wanted to go down to the lake. Since it was still a full moonish night and everything was very bright Mommy said okay. We were part way down the hill when we heard rocks clunk clunking by the water. Mommy whispered, "I wonder if there is a deer down there somewhere." and we went down to look. Before we got down to the dock I started smelling MONSTER by the boathouse. I sniffed and sniffed and ran around and Mommy didn't realize it was a monster I smelled so she whispered, "Enough sniffing, the deer is gone. Let's go out on the dock and look at the water in the moonlight." Then she stepped out onto the dock and THE MONSTER GROWLED AT HER FROM UNDER THE DOCK!!!! You should have seen Mommy flying backwards up the stairs from the dock!! It was very funny. I started barking and barking and Mommy tossed a stick down by the dock and a big fat raccoon came tearing out from under the dock and ran down the beach. Mommy laughed and said, "Well, there's our monster." and then we went out on the dock to look at the water in the moonlight and then we went back to bed. That morning we could see that the raccoon had been sitting under the dock turning over the rocks on the beach looking for crawdads.

I'm not convinced that monsters and raccoons are the same thing since the raccoons at home just run up trees and don't growl at us. I think monsters disguise themselves as raccoons up in Wisconsin.

My Monthly Diary Entry for August

Okay, okay, I know it is loooong past August, but Mommy and I were busy being on vacation at the end of August so I didn't have time to update my blog then.

Well, first off, at the end of last month I decided to eat a whole dead sparrow and then I stole and ate a slice of pizza the next day and the day after that I didn't feel so good. I clung to Mommy and she noticed that I had a blood smell so I had to go back on Carafate for three days. YUCK!! My tummy felt better though and I didn't throw up blood so Mommy caught the problem fast enough. The vet has told Mommy that she has to be sure that she has three days worth of Carafate on hand for me at all times.

This month I officially turned 9! I got a new toy, but no treats because I was still on restrictions from my ulcers. So, I decided to make my own treat late that night by eating the cover off of a softball that I found on one of my walks. I managed to keep the cover down for two days, but finally threw it up looking totally untouched. Mommy said at least there was no blood with the cover so I didn't have to go back on to the dreaded Carafate. I also ate a dead thing, but it didn't set off my ulcers so we are hoping that that means they are fully healed.

My restrictions on walks came off this month which is good so I have been able to add a little bit more to each walk and hike each week. I am up to 4 1/2 miles at a time now and am much happier. I will admit that I walk about 3 1/2 miles feeling great and then really feel tired and slow down for the last mile, but it is better than only being able to do one week. Mommy and I were hoping to do a 100 mile challenge that the forest preserves are doing, but we don't think we will make it at the rate we are going. Of all the years to break my back...

The best thing about the restrictions being off is that I was allowed to go up to Wisconsin with Mommy for a two week vacation. Now, we haven't told anyone this, but Mommy was trying to buy some land in Wisconsin when I hurt myself and it really looked like she was going to get it, but the deal fell through three weeks before closing, so no land for us. So Mommy's planned two week working vacation became a two week relaxing vacation for us. I was happy with that. I got to chase chipmunks, swim, take boat rides,

On my boat ride

hike

Hiking

and relax in the sun.

Sunning

Auntie Naomi and Uncle Fred came to visit us on our vacation too so I got to have fun with them as well (although I wasn't allowed to play tug with Uncle Fred because Mommy felt that was going to be way too hard on my back). We also got to visit Mommy's friend Bob and I got to meet two of his kids, Manya and Mark and I saw Mark's hairless dogs, but I didn't get to say hi to them because Mark was trying to get going to a wedding. I would have liked to sniff those hairless dogs tho. Do they smell the same as dogs with hair?

When we got back from vacation I was really tired and I slept and slept. Mommy wanted to take me for a hike two days after we got back and I was happy to go, but I fell asleep in the car while we were sitting waiting for a train to pass.

Also FINALLY my restrictions on getting food from the feed store guys have been removed so I got to go visit them when we got home from vacation and get a treat. We are all very happy about that!

My Monthly Diary Entry for July

Well, if you look below you will see that this was a very eventful month. For those of you not used to blog formats, the older stuff is on the bottom, so if you want to read about all my trauma this month, read from the bottom up. Anyway, to sum up the month. Mommy had planned for us to go up to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Wisconsin for the Fourth of July because she got a three day weekend because of the 4th being on a Saturday and she also had some business to take care of up there. Then we were thinking we might go to Auntie Naomi and Uncle Fred's place last weekend and Mommy had taken some time off for that. She never even got to ask Auntie Naomi and Uncle Fred if a visit would be okay because of me falling and breaking the vertebra in my back and then having the bad meds reaction and throwing up blood. Luckily I made it through all that even though I had to spend two nights at the emergency vet's. Mommy says that my vet bills cost a fortune and I am not to do such a thing ever again. I don't plan on it, but you don't know about those evil bunnies.

So, I got no fireworks show and no visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the Fourth of July because the vet said we couldn't travel up there because the closest emergency vet was 100 miles away and I had to be much closer to an emergency vet just in case. So we stayed home and I took medications and felt sick and Mommy talked Grandma and Grandpa into taking care of some of the business. I had my check from my regular vet (see below) and while Mommy was pleased with how well I was doing, I was not pleased with the restrictions she had given me. No swimming until AUGUST??!! Only two 1 mile walks a day??!! No treats from the feed store guys??!! No visits to the feed store guys anyway because they are more than a mile from the house??!! This was not good. Mommy and I had arguments on many walks because I wanted to go into town and she said no. Finally we reached a compromise that once a week I can walk into town and Mommy can mail letters and I can see the feed store guys and NOT get a treat...grrrr...but then I don't get a second walk that day. This is working out okay and I like being pet by the feed store guys even if they won't give me treats. The vet says that stairs are no and that wouldn't be a problem at our house because we only have basement stairs and I don't go down there very often unless I want to paint. Well, since my food is limited to one small dog plain milkbone a day now I decided I wanted to paint so that I could get treats. Therefore, I ran downstairs into the basement when Mommy went down to take the laundry out of the washer and tried to get her to let me paint, but she said no. Then, when she was carrying the wet laundry upstairs to hang on the line, I tried to run up the stairs ahead of her and my back end gave out and I fell. Mommy dropped the basket of laundry and caught me so she has her priorities straight. I was a bit sore after that and Mommy limited my walks down to one 1 mile walk for a few days, which made me mad, but by this weekend my back was feeling better.

The vet did say that if my tummy was better and my back was healing I could go to Grandma and Grandpa's house, but I couldn't go to Auntie Naomi's house because they have stairs and I would also want to hike and walk up at Auntie Naomi's house, but might be better and Grandma and Grandpa's. So, my back was feeling good and I'm still on high doses of Pepcid, but I took my heartworm meds and didn't have a setback and I'm not eating yucky rice anymore so Mommy decided I was well enough to go up to Grandma and Grandpa's house last weekend. The drive seemed very long and I was rather sore when we got there, but I forgot about my sore back when I spotted the chipmunks. Mommy had thought with my sore back I might restrict myself, but I didn't and I kept charging the windows and running back and forth and pulling the leash out of her hand to chase the chipmunks in the wood pile and stuff. She also had no idea that I would get on the dock and suddenly jump off the shallow end trying to catch the fishies. I NEVER JUMP OFF THE DOCK!! I also tried to jump back on the dock, but that didn't work so well and she had to pull me up on it. She had only planned to be up there for two days, but then said since I acted so stupid on my first day we'd stay an extra day because I'd already done the damage. Mommy got her business done and we spent our second day just sleeping on the dock and Mommy took me for a 1 mile hike on my favorite trail up there. I wanted to go farther, but she said no. We camped out on the great room floor with our sleeping bags, which I didn't like the first night because I wanted to go upstairs and sleep on the bed, but stairs are still no.

When we drove home yesterday I slept the whole way. I had trouble getting out of the car when we got home and this morning I tried to poop without squatting (which doesn't work very well). My back is very sore, and Mommy hopes I didn't overdo it too much. I had a little tummy trouble this morning, but we are hoping that that is only because I had stolen a bit of Mommy's dinner last night and not something more serious. I think with a couple days' rest I will feel better. Keep those paws crossed that things keep healing.

Hopefully I'm Done with the Meds

Saw my regular vet yesterday. She said she was surprised how good I looked considering all the info she had faxed to her from the emergency vet. I have finished off the icky meds so I don't have to dodge Mommy three times a day and can now have kibble mixed with rice and eggs. This I like. The bad news is that I am not allowed to walk more than one mile twice a day. I walk five miles a day thank you very much. One mile isn't even a warm up! I also cannot get on the couch or bed, run, jump or swim until THE END OF AUGUST!! Mommy and I have arguments on every walk now though because I want to go into town, or all the way through the park and Mommy says no because all the way into town is two miles and through the park is a mile and a half. Waaaah! It is a good thing Mommy spoils me. She has moved her mattress onto the livingroom floor so we can sleep together and I can sleep on it when she isn't home too. Also, I'm tall enough that if I stand on the mattress I can see outside and I can reach the window with my nose so I can sniff at what is passing by. Everyone keep your paws crossed that I continue to improve because I don't want the icky meds to come back and I really really want to be able to take long walks again.

Well, I'm Home for Now

Things went from bad to worse in the past few days. After the pooping incident I stopped eating so Mommy took me to the emergency vet and they gave me something to calm my stomach down. About two hours after we got home I threw up blood, tons of bright red, rotten smelling blood. Mommy rushed me back to the emergency vet and I had to spend two nights in the hospital on IVs and all sorts of meds. The vet says the Deramaxx gave me bleeding ulcers which is why I was puking blood. I still don't feel well. I don't feel like eating and I mostly just want to sleep. Mommy says I have a general bloody smell about me although my breath doesn't smell bloody which is good. I finally pooped today and, while it wasn't diarrhea it wasn't normal either and it was a black in parts, so there is still blood in my system. I have to take a bunch of meds, including one awful chalky one that Mommy has to squirt down my throat. As sick as I am I have enough energy to dodge her when I see the syringe and make her chase me down and trap me in a corner. We are just hoping that I get better and don't relapse or anything. Keep your paws crossed for me.

Okay, Maybe I Went Too Far

I'm mad that I'm not allowed to walk, so to show Mommy how I felt I refused to poop for 42 hours. I finally had to give in last night. Deciding this wasn't the best plan I changed it this morning to refusing to PEE. Seemed like a great plan. Don't pee in the backyard, Mommy has to walk me. Sure enough it worked. After a half hour of Mommy getting eaten by skeeters in the backyard while repeating, "Go pee. Go pee." over and over again Mommy gave up and took me for a three house walk. I peed on a neighbor's wall and then bad Mommy made me walk home. Guess what Mommy, I didn't pee as much as I would on a normal walk so there! I said when we got home. Mommy left the house anyway. When Mommy got home she had a not so good surprise for her. A HUGE pile of poop. Five puddles of the runs and my diningroom bed soaked through with pee, pee on the floor and pee on the wall. Boy was she MAD!! She said the pooping she could take because I have trouble with anti-inflamitories so she wasn't surprised the Deramaxx gave me stomach trouble and she could blame it for that, but the lake of pee had no excuse. I was a BADDOGSHAMEONYOU! Now she won't cuddle me because of the pee and I'm only getting rice for dinner because of the poop. Perhaps my grand plan was not so grand after all.

Those Evil, Evil Bunnies

Well, I may be blogging a lot more for the next two months and it is all those evil bunnies' fault. See, Mommy and I were taking our morning walk and I spotted one of those evil bunnies hiding in the bushes. I dove in and tried to get him, but he got away. While trying to get out of the spiny bushes I got tangled up and fell out backwards, landing on my hips on the pavement. I shook it off and tried to go after the bunny, but to no avail. Mommy and I walked home and I was feeling a little sore, but not terrible, so I went to bed. Well, as the day wore on I started feeling worse and worse until by four p.m. I was in great pain. I screamed and cried at Mommy and told her I needed to see the vet NOW!! So, of course, all the vets were closed except the emergency vet, but Mommy took me there. The vet tried to feel my back and legs and I YIPED when he touched them. He told Mommy I needed an x-ray so they hauled me in back and drugged me up and x-rayed me. When he came back to Mommy he told her that I had fractured my vertebra right in front of my hips. It was a hairline fracture, but it was probably what was causing me all the trouble. Then he pointed out the top of the vertebra and said that it looked like I had chipped the same one some time in the past. Mommy is thinking that maybe that was from the previous evil bunny episode, or when I fell out of the tree trying to eat the feral cat.

Don't know if you can see it, but the red arrows are pointing to the hairline fracture. The circled tip on the left is normal, the one on the right is the previous fracture.

Anyway, the only thing the vet could do for me was give Mommy some meds to give me and tell us that I have to stay quiet for FOUR TO SIX WEEKS!!! No walks! No running! No jumping on the furniture! No doing anything except lying around being bored out of my skull. Neither Mommy nor I are very happy about this. Evil, evil bunnies you cost Mommy a lot of money, me a lot of pain, and have ruined my summer. Mommy is hoping my real vet will tell her that I can go swimming in a couple weeks. Keep your paws crossed because if I have to do a whole summer of no exercise I am going to go CRAZY and I will take Mommy down with me.

By the way, don't let anyone tell you that being stoned is fun. Those drugs they gave me to "chill me out" for the x-ray left me very disoriented. All I wanted to do is lie on the porch and sleep. Whenever I woke up I became afraid and cried for Mommy and she had to come sit with me for about 15 minutes until I fell asleep again.

My Monthly Diary Entry for June

Well the big news is of course that I have a real live genuine blog now. No more crude updating my web page every month. The bad news is I don't have any place to store my old blog entries where people can read them, so if anyone out there knows of a good FREE storage space, let me know.

Anyway, on to my life this past month. We've had a lot of thunderstorms this month. I am not a happy camper because I don't like thunderstorms when I am at home. I'm always afraid that the thunder will make the power go out and then the beepy thing will go off and it'll be scary. When it thunders at night I climb in bed with Mommy and cuddle up until the next thunder, then I sit up and GLARE at Mommy because she should make the thunder stop, but she doesn't. So, Mommy and I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep lately.

Grandpa had a birthday this month and the only day the family could celebrate was on his actual birthday (which never happens in Mommy's family), but I wasn't invited and since it was going to be a late night Mommy had me go stay with Auntie Laura and the kids for the day. They were predicting big thunderstorms that day and Mommy warned Auntie Laura that I could become a real pain in the neck, and that Auntie Laura could return me home early if I was disrupting her work. Mommy didn't need to worry though because I wasn't scared of the thunder at Auntie Laura's house. They don't have a beepy thing that I know of, so when the thunder started the boy and I went into the boy's room and I caught up on all that sleep I was missing. The boy was very happy to cuddle up with me and sleep too. It was very nice. Mommy was a little bit mad when Auntie Laura told her about it, and she showed me that the beepy thing wasn't even plugged into the wall anymore so it can't beep, but I don't care. If we are home and it is thundering, I am scared of the beepy thing.

Also this month Auntie Naomi and Uncle Fred came to visit me! I was outside in the backyard when they came and I ran to the fence and screamed and screamed and screamed. I was so excited to see them. They came in while Mommy got ready to take me for a walk and then I got to show them a short version of my evening walk. (Auntie Naomi wasn't wearing walking shoes so we cut it short to save her feet.) They really enjoyed my walk and when we got back I KNEW there was a present waiting for me. Since they hadn't brought it inside I knew it had to be in their car. So I took them to the car and when Uncle Fred opened the trunk I jumped on the car. This was BAD DOG SHAME ON YOU! but I didn't seem to scratch it. I was just too excited to NOT jump on the car. Auntie Naomi got my gift and I wanted to take it right there, but she said there was something in the bag for Mommy too and I had to wait. We went inside and Mommy got one of her jelly jars back and then I got my gift! It was a squeeky bison!! I've never had a squeeky bison before. It was very exciting. I played with it and entertained everyone with the squeeking. They acted like they were talking, but I know they were actually watching me. After a little bit they all got up and left me!! They went out to eat and didn't take me with. Mommy did bring home some sweet and sour chicken for me to share though so it wasn't all bad. I was happy when they all came back, but after a very short visit they left again. I whine and cried at the door and then ran to the back door so I could watch them leave better. It was too short a visit.

Another thing Mommy and I did this month was went to the anual picnic that her friends have to celebrate their anniversay. It had rained and rained all morning so we got there late (for some reason Mommy didn't think wet dog would be welcome at the picnic). Not many people had showed and by the time we got there most of those who had showed had gone. Mommy's friend gave me some cake and Mommy had some pasta which she shared with me. Then I spotted another piece of cake that nobody was eating so I took it off the table. Got in a bit of trouble for that and Mommy decided that we should go for a hike. I wore my camera and took some pictures. Here are some of them:





















The best food seemed to be here.






















Picnic!

We had a good hike and I saw a snake. I poked him and poked him and sniffed and sniffed, but then he got tired of me and disappeared into the grass.

Finally it has gotten VERY HOT recently. It was cold and nasty for so long and now it is summer. No spring. I have not been ready for this and neither has Mommy. Last night we tried to sleep on the porch, but the dumb, renters next door kept coming outside to smoke every hour on the hour and I felt the need to yell at them that they are dumb and shouldn't smoke, so Mommy and I had to go back in around one a.m. and sleep in the warm house. Mommy says maybe she can figure out a way to block my view of their house without blocking the air and I won't need to bark at them, but I'll still be able to smell their smoke.

My First Real Blog Entry

I made myself a new blog today since Geocities is going away. What a shame. I've been there for many years, but at least now people can subscribe to my updates, and who knows, now that it is going to be easier to update blog entries maybe I'll update more than once a month...or not. There are too many bunnies and squirrels out there to chase and bark at to spend too much time blogging. By the way, I caught a bunny on my morning walk today! It was hiding in the bushes. I jumped in, grabbed it and shook it and shook it, then I jumped out and showed Mommy and she said I was a BAD DOG SHAME ON YOU because the bunny was hardly bigger than a chipmunk. I knew that fish had size limits, but I didn't know that bunnies did. Hopefully the DNR man won't come looking for me.