Flashback to Year 3

February 25, 2003

This was a rather boring month. Mommy and I did most of the usual stuff. We visited our former neighbor at his new place, we went hiking in the forest preserves, and we went to the dogpark. I am getting better about pointy-eared dogs and square-headed dogs, but I still get aggressive-defensive if a dog runs up to me when I am playing with someone else. I don't really think you can blame me though because that is what happened when the mean shepherd and rottie attacked me.

We also babysat Grandma and Grandpa's birdie while they were on vacation, but we didn't do a very good job of it because poor Tiger died. He came to us sick, but Mommy still feels like she should have been able to do better. I felt guilty about letting Tiger die while Mommy was at work and I greeted her that evening all upset and apologizing with my head and tail down. Mommy knew right away something bad had happened. When Grandpa and Grandma came to our house to get Tiger's cage and stuff I was VERY happy to see them. I was so excited that I screamed and screamed when Grandpa walked in the door.

I learned a new trick. When I am in a "down" position and Mommy says "Head down" I put my head down on or between my paws. Mommy says it looks really cute. The things I do to humor her.

The main thing that happened this month is that I taught Mommy a new trick. It all started when I was outside having fun in the backyard. A squirrel came by so I ran after it and barked at it and barked at it and barked at it. Mommy opened the door and made me come inside. Then, a few days later, I was outside and I saw one of the feral cats. I barked at it and Mommy came and opened the door and made me come inside. A few days after that I was waiting quietly by the back door for Mommy to come let me in. She was doing something else I guess, and she didn't come right away. Then I saw one of those cats again. So I barked at it. Mommy came and opened the door and told me to come in. That is when I realized I could train Mommy to come let me in whenever I wanted her to. The next day I was waiting for Mommy to let me in, but she didn't come right away. So I let out one loud "BARK!!" and Mommy came and let me in. I tried it again the next day, and it worked, and the day after too. Now Mommy is fully trained to let me back into the house when I sit by the back door and bark.

March 25, 2003

The big news of this month is that I injured Mommy. See, we were walking and I kind of pulled her down a hill and she got hurt. It couldn't have been that bad because she wasn't licking anything, but she says that I did the following damage:

1. twisted her left ankle
2. pulled a muscle in her left calf
3. wrenched her right knee
4. pulled a muscle in her right thigh
5. bruised her hip
6. THIS IS THE BIG ONE!!! cracked two (maybe three) ribs
7. wrenched her right elbow
8. wrenched her right shoulder
9. pulled a muscle in her neck

It has been a couple weeks since I did this and Mommy feels much better now. She says the only things that still hurt are her knee (no surprise she has bad knees anyway) and her ribs, but her ribs don't hurt when she breathes anymore. They only seem to hurt when I tug really hard on the leash.

I wrote to the BadDogs about this the day after it happened. Click here to read the story, but come back to my webpage afterwards!

On a brighter note, Mommy and I have been working on my dog phobia and things have gotten better. I don't get as upset when I am playing with another dog and a dog or two come to see me. I can also talk nicely to most pointy-eared dogs now too. I still hate German shepherds though. (Sorry to all the nice German shepherds that might be reading this!) Mommy and I were in a forest preserve parking lot heading towards a trail this month and a bad dog owner let his German shepherd out of his truck without a leash. The owner was getting his bike off his truck and ignored Mommy when she yelled, "Would you please hold your shepherd, my dog has issues with them." and the shepherd came up to me with his head down, ears forward and fur up. I have to admit I lost it. I started jumping around growling and snapping and basically making a fool of myself. Mommy kept putting herself between me and the other dog and had her hand on my back and was telling me that the doggie wouldn't get me, but I couldn't hear her. I was too scared. The other owner FINALLY came and after some time caught his dog. Mommy said, "Sorry, but I asked you to hold your dog." and we went for our walk. Some people who had seen my fit talked to Mommy later on the trail. Mommy explained about my shepherd problem and one lady let her chow talk to me and I was very nice. The lady said it was hard to believe I was the same dog. When we finished our walk there was a ranger truck parked in the lot. The ranger wasn't there, but Mommy thinks the bad owner probably reported me as vicious and the ranger was on the trail looking for me. Either that or somebody else reported the bad owner for not having his dog on a leash.

April 22, 2003

This has not been a good month.
It started off normal enough. We took our walks, I played with my friend Teddy, we played ball, I got in trouble a little. You know, the usual stuff. Then came THE ACCIDENT.

I'm still not sure what happened. One minute I was chasing my soccer ball in the backyard and the next I was sitting down with a lot of pain in my hind quarters. I could hardly walk. Moving caused me to scream "YIPE!!!" Mommy needed to go to work, but she couldn't because I wouldn't come in the house. I didn't want to do anything that would cause me to hurt! Finally, Mommy remembered that she had some leftover deli ham in the fridge and I decided I would move one painful step at a time as long as I got some ham in between steps. I yiped for each step too.

Mommy called the vet, but they couldn't see me right away but they told Mommy they would call if someone canceled. Someone did and we went to the vet. I yiped getting into the car. I yiped getting out of the car. I didn't want to climb the step into the vet's office, but once I was in there I tried to jump on the counter to get my milkbone. YIPE!!! While we waited for the vet I whined and shook. Mommy kept telling me it would be okay. When the vet came in it was a man vet, not my normal female vet. I didn't really want anyone touching me and I cried some more. The vet said he needed to muzzle me, just in case, and Mommy said okay because she didn't want me to accidentally hurt the vet, but once the muzzle was on all I could think about was getting it off so I wouldn't lie down and let the vet look at my legs and back.

The vet took me into the back room and had an assistant help. I YIPED when they would reach for my legs, but not yipe when they moved them, or sometimes I'd yipe when one was moved, but not when they moved it the same way a second time. Then I decided I'd had enough and I sprayed my anal glands at them. THAT MADE THEM STOP TOUCHING ME!!

When the vet brought me back to Mommy he said he couldn't tell what was wrong without x-raying me and he didn't want to have to knock me out to do so if it was only a torn muscle. So, we had to work on the assumption that it was a torn ACL. That meant no walks, no playing, no nothing for TWO WEEKS so that things could heal up. They gave me some pain killers which made me feel better, but then they made me throw up so I couldn't take them any more. Mommy said that was for the best though because I kept trying to do things that were bad for me. Lucky for me, after two VERY BORING WEEKS, I felt better so I didn't have to have x-rays or ACL surgery.

But things aren't normal yet! I still can't play with my friend Teddy. I can't play ball. I can't take long walks. I'm not supposed to run. I can't jump on the bed (Mommy moved the mattress to the floor of the livingroom so that I can still sleep with her).

I can't sit on my window seat. I can't counter surf. I can't do ANYTHING FUN! Mommy and I can now walk into town and she says we should be back up to our 5 mile morning walk in another 2 weeks or so, but I am going CRAZY. I want to RUN. I want to JUMP. I want to PLAY. NO FAIR!!!

May 20, 2003

Things have gotten better this month. My leg feels MUCH better. So Mommy has been taking me to my favorite trails again. At first we only walked for about 4 miles, but now we are up to about nine. I also get to play ball in the backyard and I got to have my friend Teddy over too. I was feeling SO MUCH better that I was getting bored with only playing ball for a little while and not doing our full 12 - 18 mile walks on the weekend so I decided to show Mommy how good I felt. Therefore, I jumped up on Mommy and cut her lip open. She wasn't very happy about it, but she did say, "If you are feeling that good I guess we don't need to sleep on the floor of the livingroom anymore." So she put the bed back together and got the house back to healthy dog state.

I got to have my bench by the window back and that was when I noticed that the neighbors across the street got a new German shepherd. I was not happy about this, let me tell you, and I actually bristled and growled a bit when I first saw him. Mommy has pointed out that he is in his own fenced yard and he isn't going to come in the house and get me, but I still don't like him much. It doesn't help that the neighbors have started taking him for walks. Don't they know that Maggie, the little white dog down the street, Scruffy, who lives a few blocks away, my buddy Teddy, and I are the ONLY DOGS allowed to walked down our block? Anyway, Mommy went to meet the new dog and told his people about my shepherd problem so they are being nice and not walking him on our side of the street and we don't walk on their side.

Finally, it sure is nice to sleep up on the bed again, but the first morning I forgot where I was and I rolled off the bed! Mommy tried to catch me but she wasn't fast enough and I landed on my head. Mommy said it was a good thing I landed on a part of me that didn't matter, and nothing that would get hurt. HUMPH!


June 24, 2003

This has been a busy month. First Mommy and I went to Wisconsin to help Grandma and Grandpa get their house ready for summer. I know this is hard to believe, but I was a GOOD DOG the entire time I was up there. Grandma even commented that I was "civilized!" I only ran off once (to check out the neighbor's laundry which was flapping and teasing me) but I came back when Mommy called, eventually, and she didn't have to come into the woods to look for me, so it was considered "good" not "bad." I only got hooked up to my long leash once and that was because Mommy and Grandpa were moving a big wooden swing and they didn't want my help for some reason. Anyway, being good at the lake is VERY tiring!! When you are bad you get tied up and so you nap a lot and glare at Mommy and stuff, but if you are good you get to chase chipmunks and squirrels and fish and you get to run in the woods (come back when Mommy calls and you get a Pupperoni!!) and you get to roll in poop and dig holes and swim and follow smells and all sorts of other things. Boy is it tiring!



The first day we got there Mommy threw my duckie in the lake for me to fetch and I got it 9 times and would have gone more times, but Mommy stopped me because the water was too cold. The second day I chased the duckie 6 times. The third day I chased the duckie twice. The fourth day I chased it once, and I got Grandma to let me in the house so I could take a two hour nap. On the last day I told Mommy she could go get her own damn duckie! I slept for the whole car ride home and was still asleep when Mommy got home from work that night and I slept the whole night and the next day too. Being good is very hard on the system.






When we got home I wanted to tell my friend, Teddy, about my trip, but I discovered that he had moved! He went to someplace called "Florida" and Mommy says it is too far away for him to come for our playdates. Mommy had been warning me that he was moving, but I didn't realize that meant no more playdates. I have been very sad on Sundays (playdate day).

ME AND TEDDY:


Mommy is trying to get the neighbors to let me play with Ernie (a new lab puppy) but they don't seem to be very eager to do it.

Also this month Mommy and I did almost our full trail hike. We did 10 miles. It was warmer than we thought it was going to be so I got very thirsty at the half-way point. Mommy broke the rules and took me into the "no dogs" park to get me water. Nobody yelled at us though which is a good thing or Mommy probably would have bitten them. When we got to the eight mile point I realize that we were leaving the shaded area and going into the Long Area of Sun. I sat down in the shade and refused to move. It was Father's Day so Mommy took out the emergency cell phone she caries on our hikes and called Grandpa to say, "Happy Father's Day." and chat with him while I cooled off. Some people who had seen us earlier in the day stopped to see if we were okay. Mommy said we were fine and after chatting for a while with Grandpa, we finished our walk. When we got home I had three ticks and Mommy had two. Mommy says no more sitting on the ground in the woods for us!

Finally, Mommy taught me a new trick. See, whenever Mommy goes into the bathroom I barge in to see what she is doing. Mommy can't seem to remember to make sure the door latches when she shuts it, and I refuse to not barge in, so Mommy taught me to shut the door. So now when she is in the bathroom and I barge in she says, "Merlin, shut the door!" and I turn around and hit it with my paw until the door is closed. Mommy thinks it is a very useful trick.

July 30, 2003

Well, I'm late updating this month, but you will see why at the end.

This month we went to our town's 4th of July celebration to watch the fireworks. I love fireworks. We got there about one hour early so that Mommy could buy some dinner and we could picnic. Imagine our surprise to find that the park was already PACKED with people. Our spot that we always sit in was taken by a golden retriever and his family too! Mommy and I went to get something to eat and discovered that almost all the vendors were out of food. We were lucky that the guys selling burgers still had some and the kids selling pop still had some too. I sat in line and waited very nicely. People complemented me on what a good boy I was. One man even stepped on the tip of my tail and I didn't do anything but look back at him reproachfully. His wife hit him though and told him to get off my tail! It was funny.

We went back to the fireworks area and finally found a spot where we could spread out our blanket. Then we sat down to eat. After we shared the burger (I got half) some little girls came up and asked if they could pet me. Mommy said okay and they pet me for about a half hour. Mommy had planned to read her book, but she didn't get to because she had to watch the little girls. Then some other kids came up to pet me too. Then someone joined the group next to us and they brought along a little peke. I wanted to play with him but Mommy said no. Finally it was time for fireworks to start. I was all ready and so was Mommy and then some brats in front of us threw one of those popper firecrackers at the peke and hit him in the side. The peke wasn't hurt but he was scared and I got really mad and wanted to go give those bad boys a piece of my mind and maybe some of my teeth, but Mommy said no. Unfortunately it took me the first 10 minutes of the fireworks to settle down so I missed quite a bit of the show.

After the show Mommy tried to get us out of the park while staying out of the crowd, but we ended up getting shoved into the middle of a massive jam at the exit. I stayed really close to Mommy and my glow collar was on, but people were still stepping on me. I was handling it okay, but Mommy was getting madder and madder because people weren't even saying "sorry" when they stepped on me or shoved Mommy. (Mommy is quite short and being in the middle of a large crowd can be really bad for her). We were almost out of the park when a kid reached out and started to pet me. Mommy said, "You should always ask before you pet a strange dog." The kid's father said, "It's okay we have a golden retriever."
Mommy said, "This is not your golden retriever."
The man said, "You wouldn't bring a vicious dog to the park."
Mommy said, "No I wouldn't, but this is a very stressful situation for him. Even the best tempered dog can lose it when someone comes up behind him in a crowd and touches him."
The man said, "My son likes dogs he wouldn't do anything bad to him."
Mommy said, "My dog is trained how to behave in public, and I would hope that people would train their children too, so that everyone can be safe."
Then the man called Mommy a female dog.
We got out of the park at that point, which is good because I think Mommy might have bitten him if we hadn't.

Things were boring for most of the rest of the month until right before I should have updated my page. That was when Mommy started packing bags. We were going on a VACATION!! I thought we were going to go to Wisconsin, but we didn't. We went to DOG SCOUT CAMP in Michigan!! It was very exciting, and I only got in one BIG fight and I learned a lot and so did Mommy. We just got back on Saturday and that is why this update is late. Check back in a week or two because I am making a special CAMP DIARY which will have pictures and everything.

September 3, 2003

I'm late again this month, but that is because Mommy and I went to Wisconsin. I'll tell you about that trip next month.

The big thing that happened this month is that I went to Dog Scout Camp. I did so much there that I made a special daily camp diary. [I'll put it up as my next flashbacks]

After we got back from camp I slept and slept and ate and ate. Then Mommy and I got back to our normal routine. Until the NEW NEIGHBORS showed up. We got new neighbors next door and they have a golden retriever. His name is Berkley, but we thought his name was Barkley because that is what the neighbors' daughter calls him. Barkley is a good name for him because he BARKS AND BARKS AND BARKS at me. I really want to be friends with him, but when I go up to the fence to say hi he BARKS at me. Then I get scared and I make Cujo faces at him and bark back. Then, because I want to be friends, I stop Cujoing at him and I wag my tail and try to be friends again. Mommy says I look like an idiot doing that and calls me away before I can Cujo at him, but sometimes I switch so fast she doesn't realize it is coming. Berkley's mommy is a little afraid of me because I look so evil when I go off at him. She thinks I might bite her, but Mommy says she really doubts that would happen. So, as it is right now when we are both out in the back yard we are either barking at each other or ignoring each other.

Mommy says she thinks we could be good fence friends because we have similar interests. I like chasing cats and squirrels and so does he. I like running along the fence with other dogs and so does he (but he likes to bark while doing it and I like to run quietly). I like to chase basketballs in the backyard and so does he. He likes his ball so much that if he sees me chasing mine he runs to his mommy and tries to make her jump over the fence to get my ball. I think he thinks it is his. So, hopefully, he will learn to stop barking so much, but just in case he doesn't, Mommy is working with me on learning that he isn't really being mean when he barks. He barks at me and I get treats for not reacting.

Other than fighting with Berkley, I didn't do a whole lot. Mommy and I are taking hikes on the trails by our house and I am carrying my backpack. I look really cool in it and people sometimes stop to talk to Mommy about it and they tell me I look good wearing it. Sometimes they ask about Dog Scouts and Mommy tells them about camp. Mommy fancied my pack up a bit with some buckles and by sewing my Dog Scout patches, my CGC patch and the trail badge we earned last year for hiking 7 trails in 3 months. (We actually did that in about one month because the required trails are only 3 miles at the longest.) So now I look REALLY COOL when I wear it.

September 23, 2003

Well, as promised I'll tell you about my trip to Wisconsin. Mommy and I went up there at the end of August. When we got there Grandma and Grandpa weren't there, but they came the next day. Boy was I excited!! I love it when I get to see Grandma and Grandpa. They didn't stay the whole time though and I was very sad for a couple of days after they left. I was VERY good at the lake and I got to be off leash for the first few days. I only went to visit the neighbors once and I came back right after I said hi.

After we had been there a few days I woke Mommy up around 7 a.m. (see I let her sleep in when we are on vacation) and she let me outside by myself. I was very good and did what I was supposed to do and then came inside. About a half hour later I looked out the window and what did I see in OUR BACKYARD but a GERMAN SHEPHERD!! I jumped on the window and barked and even Mommy got mad because the shepherd was wandering around without any humans. The shepherd looked at our house and ran off into the woods. Mommy went outside and tracked the shepherd to another neighbor's house and then lost the trail when the shepherd stepped onto the neighbors driveway. She went back to Grandma and Grandpa's house and called the neighbor to see if it was her shepherd. It wasn't, but she said it belonged to the neighbors next to her. Mommy went back to their house and, sure enough, there was the shepherd in their house. She knocked on their door and the shepherd's daddy came out. Mommy told him that the shepherd was in our yard and how I HATE shepherds because they have attacked me in the past and she really didn't want me to start a dogfight that she would have to finish. The owner then asked her how she knew that it was THEIR shepherd. Mommy explained about tracking it. Then he said, "When did you see the dog?" and Mommy said, "About a half hour ago." At that point the man admitted that it COULD be his shepherd since he lets her out to run around BY HERSELF in the woods for a FEW HOURS EACH MORNING!!, but she NEVER goes farther than a couple properties over. Why would she go onto OUR property? Mommy said, "She probably smelled MY DOG and came to investigate." (she did not add, "Duh! you big moron!" and "How do you know where she is when she is OUT OF YOUR SIGHT for a FEW HOURS each morning?!" which I think showed a lot of self control.) So then she said she would keep ME ON A DRAGLINE on our property if he would keep their dog on their property. He said he would, but I am sure it was their dog I saw in our front yard a few mornings later. That is why I barked and barked and barked at 5 a.m.

So, even though I was a very good boy I had to wear my leash for the rest of the time I was at the lake. Just because some other dog has a BAD OWNER.



I still had fun at the lake though. I swam and swam and swam. I ran in the woods. I chased chipmunks and squirrels and fish and frogs. I found the cool retrieving toy that my cousin, Missy, hid in the woods. I rolled in all sorts of stuff. I went to visit a friend of Mommy's (I tried to sit on his couch which HE said was okay, but which MOMMY said wasn't.). And Mommy and I went for a long hike. I wore my backpack for it and got lots of compliments along the trail.

I slept for the entire ride home. We took Grandma's new canary, Willie, home with us because we were going to babysit him for a couple of weeks. Willie loved the car ride and especially liked looking out the sunroof. Grandma's car doesn't have a sunroof. Mommy says it was good I slept because that way we didn't have to stop and make her worry about Willie being locked in the car alone while we took our walk.

Since we've been home, and Willie has gone back to Grandma's house, things have gone back to normal. Mommy and I are still hiking. I am up to 32 1/2 miles carrying my pack. When I get to 50 miles I get to be a Pack Dog, and I can sign my name Merlin, CGC, DSA, PD. Mommy says it is strange having a dog with more letters after his name than she has (she doesn't have any letters after her name). Maybe she should go for her CGC, or would that be a HGC?

October 21, 2003

This month we didn't do a whole lot. It was a stay at home month. No vacations, no trips, no nothing. We did go for lots and lots of hikes in the forest preserves. Mommy and I were working on this special county program where you pick up a booklet with about 12 trails listed. You hike seven trails before the end of November and you get a little metal badge to put on a walking stick. Any trail over 2 miles counts as two trails (Mommy says any trail UNDER 2 miles should count as 1/2 a trail, but then I guess other people don't walk as much as we do). Since we can finish our 7 trails in no time Mommy and I do all the trails that allow dogs on them. This year we did 9 trails and I got my badge last week. It is bigger than last year's and is three colors instead of two. It looks really good on my pack (we don't have a walking stick). We used our county hikes for my Packdog title too and this weekend I passed the fifty mile mark. Mommy sent in my log so soon I should be able to put that PD after my name. Mommy says we are going to take a backpack break for a little bit. We'll still hike, but I won't have to wear my pack each time, and then we will start working on 100 miles so that I can be PDX (Packdog Excellent).

Also this month Mommy and I went to visit our old neighbor in the nursing home. When we walked in the door the receptionist said, "Merlin!!" and insisted on petting me (no complaints here). I tried to get her to take my headcollar off, but she wouldn't. Then when we were walking down the hall a nurse said, "This must be Merlin. I HAVE to meet him!" and she pet me too! It was great. I love it when people recognize me. It turns out that our neighbor called out and told everyone we were coming to visit and they all wanted to say hi because he had told them so much about me! Mommy said it was a good thing she brought me, she had actually considered going for a visit WITHOUT me that day, but decided at the last minute that it wasn't too hot to leave me in the car when she stopped at the library for tapes for our neighbor. When we were leaving it was right before lunch and all the residents were gathering outside the dining area so I did all my tricks for them. Mommy says that if I would EVER calm down she would check into making me a therapy dog. I know I would love that job.

Finally, after last month's diary I got an anonymous question from some human asking me why it was okay for me to visit the neighbors at Grandma and Grandpa's house, but it wasn't okay for the German Shepherd to visit me. I know it had to be a human asking that question because any dog would know the answer to that one. It wasn't okay because it was A GERMAN SHEPHERD that visited me. I would have thought it was great if it was a pomeranian visiting me but A GERMAN SHEPHERD was on MY LAND!! Mommy says actually she would have been just as mad if a pomeranian had come to visit without its human and would have hunted down its human just the same. See, the minute I leave our property Mommy knows it, and she comes after me. Mommy always seems to notice whenever I wander out of sight up there and whistles for me right away, but the GERMAN SHEPHERD's daddy didn't know, or care, where his dog was for HOURS EVERY DAY and that is a BAD daddy.

November 25, 2003

This month Mommy did that strange thing where she walks around the house and plays with all the clocks and then she doesn't get up on time the next morning, or feed me on time, or get home from work on time. This year I was VERY VERY good and I didn't pee, poop or throw up in the house at all! I was still nervous when she was late getting home, but I just got Pyramid and cuddled with him on the bed until Mommy came home.

We also did that thing where Mommy makes me dress up funny and then kids in costume come to the door and Mommy gives them treats and I inspect all the bags. Then after Mommy closes the door I get a treat too! This year Mommy made me dress up as an angel. From the way my halo flopped around she said I was a fallen angel. For a little while Mommy dressed up as the Grim Reaper and she told me that that made me the Angel of Death.



After about 2 hours of answering the door I got tired of it (and I'd had enough treats) so I went into the bedroom and refused to come out again. Besides, all the kids I like had already come and oohed and ahhed over me.

And finally this month I discovered that the big long piece of furniture in the livingroom called, "my down couch!" was very very comfortable. See, Mommy was lying on it watching tv and I wanted to get pet, so I put my chin on her tummy and she pet me. After a little bit my neck started to get stiff, so I sat up and put one foot on Mommy and she kept petting me. Then my other front foot started to cramp so I put that foot on Mommy. Mommy said, "You are really pushing it big guy." but I just smiled at her. Then I thought it would be nice if she rubbed between my shoulder blades so I turned around and put my chest on Mommy. She said, "Only this once." and she scratched me. After a bit she fell asleep. That was when my hind legs started to go numb. I wanted to take some weight off them, but, being the considerate dog I am, I didn't want to wake up Mommy by jumping down. So, instead I carefully climbed up onto Mommy. You should have seen how surprised she was when she woke up! Anyway she told me to get down and I did. Mommy thought that was that, but what she didn't know was that I decided that if I could be on the couch when Mommy was sleeping on it, why couldn't I sleep on it when she was at work? I slept on it for an entire week. Once Mommy found my ball on the couch when she got home and told me I should be more careful where I throw it. She didn't realize that I had taken it up there to play with while on that comfy couch!

My undoing was that Saturday. Mommy was cleaning the house and I was bored. I slept on the bed for awhile, but I decided after a bit that the couch would be better. So, while Mommy was cleaning the kitchen I got up on the couch. You should have heard her yell when she came into the livingroom and found me there! I tried to look surprised, "hey! how'd I get up HERE??" but she didn't buy it. So I sat on my livingroom dog bed with a big sigh and waited for her to do something more interesting. She didn't. After she finished cleaning the house she started to pay bills. I decided she was too busy to notice so I left my dog bed and quietly started to climb up on the couch. Again she yelled at me. And now there are evil mouse traps on the couch when Mommy is not sitting on it. HUMPH!

December 23, 2003

This month Mommy and I went up to Grandma and Grandpa's place in Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. I had fun, but not as much fun as in the summer. It was deer hunting season so I wasn't allowed outside without Mommy on the other end of my leash. I also wore my Dog Scout bandana the whole time because it is so bright and shiny red. Mommy pinned a red bandana to her coat sleeve too. Since Mommy had to go outside with me and it was kinda cold, we didn't go out a whole lot. I waited by the window for chipmunks, but none came. Mommy said they were asleep for the winter. To add some excitement to this dull vacation I did things like try to take Grandma's slippers whenever possible. I also carried everyone's shoes around and at one point I tipped over an end table.

When we got home it was mostly boring. We took some walks, but not as many as I'd like, and lately Mommy has been very busy shopping and stuff for Christmas, so I have been very neglected. Mommy took me to PetSmart to have my picture taken for Santa. I wasn't very good for Santa, but then, he wasn't very good for me. Even Mommy got a little mad at him because she was trying to explain to him that SHE would tell me to sit and pose (she wanted me to sit sideways and put my paw on his knee) but he just took my leash by my collar and JERKED it to try to make me sit! Well, THAT doesn't work! So I got upset and refused to sit for him or Mommy and I just wanted to go home because Santa was being mean to me, but finally Mommy got me calmed down enough to get one okay picture taken. Mommy says you can tell that both Santa and I are rather pissed off. We made it into a Christmas card anyway. Click on the link at the end of my diary to see it.

Also this month I though Mommy had finally realized that it was not fair that she got to go potty in the house but I didn't, because she brought in A TREE! Then she put all these toys on the tree and I thought, "Oh! It isn't a potty tree, it is a new dog toy!" I love chewing pine branches and putting toys on the ends of them makes it even better, but then Mommy ruined everything by hanging MOUSETRAPS on the tree too! How could she do such a thing? I think it is awful and she did it all just to torture me. I hope Santa doesn't bring her anything but coal for playing such a dirty trick. I also know that there is a yummy treat for me hiding in the coat closet, but Mommy won't open the door for me. I sure hope Chirstmas comes soon. I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to not pee on or eat the tree, and there must be some way to open that closet door. Happy Howlidays!

January 20, 2004

Well, this was a busy month. First there was Christmas. We had Mommy's oldest brother and his family, Grandma, Grandpa and Mommy's youngest brother over for dinner. I was a good host and circulated among the guests. I did so by circling the room over and over for the entire hors d'oeuvres period. I also showed them that Mommy had nuts they could eat by taking nuts one at a time and cracking them open and eating them. For some reason the guests didn't want nuts. Then I finished off the hors d'oeuvres just like Boo had done back before he got sick. I was very sad when the guests went home that night.

The next day was Christmas day. I got all sorts of good gifts and then Mommy packed the other presents up and we went to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was very exciting to be there with everyone (Mommy's brothers and all were staying there) and it got even better when Mommy's middle brother joined the group and brought my waterdog cousin Missy. Missy and I chased each other all over the house and then Grandpa seemed to forget there were dogs in the house and he stood with the front door open and Missy ran out first and I ran after her and we ran around the outside of the house and into the nieghbors yard and Mommy chased us and Mommy's middle brother chased us and we dodged them and wrestled and it was great until Missy finally got caught by Mommy's middle brother. He picked her up and brought her inside. Then I let Mommy catch me and bring me in too so that Missy and I could continue our chase game. We chased each other around the diningroom table and through the livingroom. Then we went in the basement and chased some more. After all that running I had to pee, but Mommy wasn't downstairs and nobody who was knew that I had to pee so I just peed on one of the basement posts. Mommy's middle brother caught me and tried to stop me by pulling on my collar, but once I'm peeing there is no stopping me so Mommy got to clean up a puddle that was about 5 feet long. I got a half hour time out in Grandma and Grandpa's bathroom. After that I was a good boy the rest of the night and I only played chase with Missy and didn't pee inside anymore. I was very tired that night!

Shortly after Christmas it was New Years Eve. Mommy had the day off so we went for a hike. I carried my backpack and when we got to my favorite trail Mommy let me choose which way we walked. I chose south (I usually choose north) and we hiked and hiked and hiked then we took a break and turned around and hiked back, but I didn't want to stop there and Mommy let me hike a trail we'd never done before. It ended up being a BIG loop that connected with the trail we had been on. By the time we got back to the car we had hiked a total of 13 1/2 miles. Mommy noticed that night that my backpack had rubbed a blister under my arm and she felt bad that she had let me carry the pack for so many miles. We spent most of New Years Day just hanging out around the house recovering!

The weather hasn't been so good for hiking after New Years Eve so Mommy says we are going to start really working on painting. She has made me my paint paw and set up an art space in the basement. We have already started working on new tricks and gone back to work on some of the old ones I never really got. She says it is important that I tire out my brain if I can't tire out my body. I wonder why that is? Do you think it has something to do with the fact that I have been teasing her constantly over the last week or so?

Finally it was my adoption anniversary yesterday. Three whole years with Mommy. Is she a sucker or what?! Mommy gave me a Kong filled with chicken in the morning and then lots of people food and a Jumbone and a real bone at night. I gobbled down the chicken, the people food and the Jumbone and I hid the real bone under the covers of the bed up by Mommy's pillow. Mommy was very surprised when she found it at bed time and she put it in the fridge. She said I can have it back tonight, but it will go back in the fridge if she finds it in her bed again.

My Monthly Blog for February

This has not been a very fun month.

You know it is not going to be a fun month when you start it off by going to the vet for your annual checkup and shots. I was very nervous in the waiting area and then the vet tech took me away to poke me and make me bleed which wasn't nice. I came running back to Mommy in the waiting area and wanted to go home right then, but she said no. Then we went in the examining room. Usually I am impatient in the examining room waiting for my vet to come say hi, but ever since I had to spend all those days at the emergency vet I don't like the the examining room so I sat as close to Mommy as I could and I shook and shook an shook and whined. Then my vet came in and poke me and listened to my heart and stuff and said that all things considered I looked very good. Then she gave me my shots and told Mommy I had to come back in three weeks for ANOTHER SHOT!! Mommy and I were both surprised, but they have changed the Lyme shot so I had to come back. After I got the shots I ran to the door and shook and whined. The vet asked how my tummy had been and Mommy said, "Fine, but I suspect it isn't going to be after today." and she was right. Two days later I woke up feeling awful and I jumped out of bed and threw up in the hall, the living room and the kitchen. Mommy let me and out then put me on Carafate again, WHICH I HATE, but which I have to admit makes my tummy feel a lot better. After three days on Carafate I was back to my old self.

Then about a week later we had a great big snowstorm. Mommy took the day off and I got to go on a lot of snow walks with her. When we started our first walk there was about 3 inches of snow on the ground and by the time we got home there was over 6 inches! The next time we went out there was about 11 inches of snow. And by the time I went out before bed there was 14 inches of snow. This was shocking because the snow actually touched my belly when I walked in it! A couple days after the big storm I was trying to catch a squirrel who was on top of the fence and I pulled a muscle in my left hind leg trying to run through the high snow. It hurt a lot and Mommy said "no more long walks for you until that is healed" but I did get to walk to the feed store guys and get a freeze dried chicken treat from them (much to Mommy's horror). Then by Sunday I was driving her crazy so she broke down and took me for a 1.1 mile hike. I had a lot of fun, but by the time we were done my leg was hurting again. That night I felt really bad and had to have a pain pill. Well the next day between the upset from the injury and the chicken treat my tummy wasn't feeling good. It didn't stop me from eating Mommy's toast that morning, but while Mommy was out I pooped in the plant room. Back on Carafate I went.

After four days I felt better again and I got to be off the meds. Then that weekend the smoke detector's battery died and it went "BEEP!" around 6 p.m. Well beeps scare me A LOT (I have had panic attacks because smoke detectors have beeped on TV) and I was on Mommy's lap panting and shaking and whining all night. The smoke detector didn't beep again that night, and I was feeling happy enough to grab a bite of Mommy's pork curry at dinner when she got up to answer the phone, but the next night, right before bedtime it beeped again. Mommy put me outside so she could change the battery and I hid behind the yard shed while she was doing it. She discovered the replacement battery she had was old and so she had to just leave it batteryless until she could get a new one. I came back in reluctantly when Mommy called me and I looked up at the terrible beeping thing when I went into and out of the bedroom, but it stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Anyway, between the curry and the fear of beeps I pooped in the house again while Mommy was out the next day. So I'm back on Carafate AGAIN!!

Mommy realized that my second Lyme shot was today and she knew that if she let the vet tech take me into the back room to give me the shot my tummy would be really really bad so she called the vet and arranged for them to give me the shot in the back hallway with Mommy there. It didn't stop me from shaking and shaking and whining and running to the door as fast as I could when they were done though. So Mommy and I figure I will be on Carafate for about a week this time. Mommy says if I keep being so neurotic she is going to have to get me a prescription for Valium. I'm not sure if she is kidding or not.

P.S. Today is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day and because of my tummy I can't have any. That does not seem fair.

Flashback to Year 2

February 19, 2002

This month wasn't a great one. It started off okay. Mommy bought abook of dog tricks and made a list of tricks she is going to teach me to do. We also went to the dog park two more weeks in a row and then, the day after the second visit, I got sick. I started drooling at about 11 am and kept drooling all day long. Mommy checked my teeth, and my throat. She didn't see anything wrong and couldn't figure out what was going on so she called the emergency vet (it was a Sunday). They said that maybe I ate something that tasted bad and Mommy should give me lots of water and stuff. Mommy did, but it didn't help. She even gave me some extra treats and some chicken broth, but I kept drooling. By 9 at night I was still drooling and now I was all curled up and whimpering or bothering Mommy for things that I didn't want. I'd ask to go out, but then refuse to go out when she opened the door. I asked to be pet, but moved away when she touched me. Finally, I just started whining and poking her so she took me to the emergency vet.

I'd never been to this vet before and I was very excited to see that they had a counter with a girl behind it. Maybe she hands out treats, you never know, so I jumped up on the counter and drooled on everything on her desk. She agreed that I was drooling way too much and so Mommy and I went into a back room. The girl listened to my heart and said it was going rather fast and I seemed anxious to her too. Then she said, "Let's take his temperature." and she tried to stick this thing up my butt. Well, NO THANK YOU!! I jumped out of the way and ran into a corner. Mommy got me out and held on to me and the girl tried again. NOPE! I got away. They called in an aide and she tried to hold me down. NO WAY!! I got my front paws on her head and jumped over her back. The girl said, "Well, let me get the vet." and she went into a back room. The vet came out and she listened to my heart and said it was a little fast, probably because I was anxious. Then she checked my tummy and glands and teeth and throat and ears. She said that they all looked fine. Then she said, "Well lets see if I can take his temperature." She picked up that stick thing and I ran and put my back end by the door. Then she called in the first girl. When I saw her I ran to the corner and sat down. They didn't seem to get the message that I wasn't going to have something stuck up my butt. The girl tried to pin me to the wall and I started screaming and then I tried to bite the vet. Mommy was shocked. The vet decided I didn't need my temperature taken. She told Mommy that she didn't know what was wrong. That it seemed like I might have eaten something like chocolate or a medication of some kind, but Mommy keeps her medicines in a cabinet that I can't get into and there was no chocolate in the house. The vet said that the only thing she could do was to tell Mommy to check on me every 2 or 3 hours during the night to make sure that I didn't get worse. Then Mommy paid $78 and we went home. I felt a little better the next day and about 5 days later I felt fine.

The day after I felt fine, Mommy started to feel sick. The next day she woke up and found that she had drooled all over her pillow in the middle of the night. She had a runny nose and fever and stuff. She was sick for about a week. That was kind of fun because she stayed home with me, but it was also kind of boring because she just wanted to sleep and stuff and I wanted to play. She got kind of grumpy when I would jump on her tummy and wake her up to see if she wanted to play get the underwear and
stuff. She said she let me sleep when I didn't feel good and I should let her sleep now. Nope. Anyway, when she started feeling better she said I owe her $78 in cookies because I had caught a cold and had acted like I was dying. I couldn't help it. I didn't feel well, and I tend to be a worry wart. How was I to know I WASN'T dying?

March 19, 2002

Well, I have to admit, I haven't been very good this month. After Mommy got sick last month and stayed home all that time I got kind of spoiled. When Mommy went back to work, I decided to pee or poop in the house again. I made sure to pee or poop at least twice a week. Mommy made an appointment with the vet for me to make sure there was nothing wrong with me. The vet said I was fine, and she and Mommy agreed I had probably developed separation anxiety. The vet suggested that Mommy put me on drugs to make it easier for me to think when I get anxious, but Mommy didn't want to do that right away. Instead Mommy decided to study me a bit. The vet gave her some pamphlets about separation anxiety and we went home (after I got my kennel cough snort--I'm going to take a CGC prep course in May so I should have lots to tell then!--and lyme shot).

Mommy read the pamphlets and realized that I no longer had any of the separation anxiety symptoms except for the peeing and pooping part. So she set up a tape recorder to see what I did after she left. When she came home and listened to the tape my secret was out! I ate my treats, played with my toys, slept and peed and pooped in the house. I NEVER whined or paced. Then Mommy borrowed a video camera from Grandma and Grandpa so she could see what I was doing, just in case she missed
something. Now she has a nice tape of me eating my treats, playing with my toys, napping and pooping right in front of the camera. Mommy plans to call the vet in a few days and tell her that I DON'T have separation anxiety and to see what she suggests. I don't like this camera stuff.

April 23, 2002

The Housebreaking War Continues

Don't tell Mommy, but I think she may be winning. After she discovered that I didn't have separation anxiety she called the vet and talked to her. The vet agreed that what Mommy described was not separation anxiety, but was rather some kind of "magical thinking." See, I wanted to be outside and my logic went like this:

1. I want to be outside.
2. If I pee or poop in the house, Mommy gets mad and she puts me outside until she cools off.
3. Therefore, if I pee or poop in the house, I will get to go outside.

It worked too, although I expected to get to go out right away after I went potty in the house (You can see it on the video tape. I see something outside. I try to open the door. I won't open. I poop. I go back to the door and see if it will open now). But, see, when Mommy came home I got to go outside for hours. It was great. The vet said I was the "ultimate button pusher" and then when Mommy asked her what she should do the vet said, "I have NO idea. Isn't it terrible when your dog is smarter than both you and your vet?"

So Mommy decided to go back to basic housebreaking 101, but to up the rewards and punishments. So, if I am good, and I poop outside, I get a treat. If I'm good while Mommy is gone I get to go for a VERY LONG after work walk and have some sit out in the backyard time too. Sometimes I get a carrot too. Sometimes I even get to go to the dogpark! If I am bad, and poop or pee inside, I get locked in my room and I only get 3 short 5 minute outside times and NO Mommy time. The first week of this training I pooped inside. I spent 1/2 the night alone in my room. A few days later I peed in the house. I got locked in my room until bedtime. Then, the day before Easter I peed in the house because I was too lazy to walk to the back door with Mommy. I got locked in my room for the entire night and didn't even get to come out at bedtime! I was VERY upset. I barked and cried, but Mommy said nobody out stubborns
her. I was only saved from a whole night alone in the dark by Mommy getting a phone call at 2 a.m. from some drunk. She said that as long as she was awake she'd let me out, but I didn't get to sleep on the bed with her. I haven't peed or pooped in the house since. So, as I said, it looks like Mommy may be winning, but don't tell her. I want to keep her on her toes.

May 21, 2002

Well, Mommy won the housebreaking wars. I haven't peed or pooped in the house for a month. Personally, I think Mommy cheated. See, at the end of April I decided I wanted to poop in the house, so, when Mommy and I went for our walk, I considered pooping, but then I held it in so I would be able to poop after Mommy left. Mommy got really mad and she pulled my crate out of storage. I was VERY SHOCKED to see it out. Mommy set it up in the basement and made me get in it. Now, when I was little I liked to poop in my crate and then sleep in the poop, but now that I am big I realized that this would not be much fun. So I had to hold it ALL DAY. When Mommy came home and saw that I hadn't pooped in my crate she was VERY happy and she took me to the dogpark. That is when I realized that I like it better when Mommy is happy, so I haven't peed or pooped in the house since.

The other big thing this month is that Mommy and I have started our CGC prep course. I love going to class. The night of the first class, when we got two turns away from the school, I started yelling at Mommy to hurry up and get there. Mommy was surprised because it had been over a year since we had been in a class there, but I knew where we were going and that the ladies with the good treats would be there. I was so happy to see everyone at the school that I tried to jump onto the counter when Mommy was checking us in. The lady with the best treats said, "Ah, Merlin...I
remember Merlin."

I'm not sure what the purpose of this class is because we are learning all sorts of silly things. Like I am supposed to SIT! when the lady with the treats comes to say hi. (I am not supposed to jump on her and lick her face and try to take the treats out of her pocket) I am supposed to SIT! while Mommy talks to another person with a dog (But the dog and I are not supposed to talk. ) I am supposed to SIT! while the trainer guy brushes me and looks in my ears and holds my feet. (But Mommy brushes me while I stand because I am so tall it is easier that way) I am supposed to SIT!
while the trainer guy holds my leash and Mommy hides for 3 minutes. (Do they really think that I don't know that Mommy hasn't really gone anywhere?) I am supposed to SIT! and WAIT! while Mommy walks across the room and then I am supposed to COME! and SIT! (I am not supposed to COME! and slam into Mommy's legs.) I am supposed to HEEL! while Mommy and I walk among all the other people and their dogs. (But again, us dogs
are not allowed to talk to each other) The best part of this class though is that we get to do something called "jumps" every other week. I LOVE JUMPS! They are such fun, but the trainer guy laughs at me because I jump straight up in the air with all four legs at the same time and somehow make it over the jump. He says dogs are supposed to jump FRONT FEET then BACK FEET not all four feet at the same time. Oh well.

June 25, 2002

This was a month of achievements. First off, Mommy and I went to Wisconsin and I DID NOT pee in the house. I also quit playing with my doggie cousins when my doggie cousins wanted to quit. Then, Mommy gave me the basement again and I have not peed or pooped down there and I also have not slaughtered any stuffed animals. And finally, just to show Mommy how little she is in control, I PASSED MY CGC TEST!!!

Mommy was SO SHOCKED. See, for classes 4, 5, 6 and 7 I decided that I had had enough of this class business and I goofed off EVERY TIME. In class 4 I knocked over some equipment and tried to hump my girlfriend Rita. Then in class 5 I decided that I was tired of sitting on command and went on strike. Mommy would say, "SIT!" and I would stare off into space and act like I never heard her. Class 6 was mostly spent lying on my back and chewing the leash. For class 7 I was SO ROTTEN goody-goody Sassy the rottweiler's mom told Mommy not to worry if I did everything wrong at the test because, "even those of us who have been showing for years come home occasionally with a NQ." (not qualified).

We practiced sit-stays at the dog park in the training area with all the distractions around me. We practiced saying hi to all the neighbors and having me sit during it, and the weekend before the test Mommy and I went to and art fair and walked it for an hour to practice walking in crowds. After we were done Mommy said, "I still don't think you will get your CGC but I am very proud of you because you did the fair SO WELL."

We went into the test and Mommy said, "If you pass three of the tests I will be happy. If you pass half of them I will be astounded. If you pass them all I will buy you a cheeseburger." Well, how could I turn that down? I was supposed to be number 4 to be tested, but the tester called 5 instead because she had seen who 4 was and wanted to do 5 first because she thought HE had a chance of passing. So Mommy and I got to watch goody-goody Sassy FAIL!!! HA!!! Sassy jumped all over the tester for Acceptance of Stranger and for Walking in Crowds. Her mommy didn't even bother taking the rest of the tests and left. When I finally got called MOMMY BLEW IT! We did Acceptance of Stranger first and she held my leash in the wrong hand because she forgot she needed to shake hands and when she switched the leash I stood up. The tester said she got two tries (which was lucky for Mommy) and on the second try it all went well. I needed a second try for Appearence and Grooming because I licked the tester when she was looking at my paws. I didn't stand up, I just licked her. I needed a second try at Out for a Walk because they told me to turn left, but the refreshment table was about 2 feet in front of me at the time so I figured forward was a better direction. I also needed a second try for Acceptance of Another Dog because they matched me up with a dog who wasn't in our class (he had just come for the test) and he was DOG AGRESSIVE. The other dog glared and rumbled at me and I stood up and moved away from him. The tester said, "As much as I hate to say it, do that again." We did it again and this time Mommy stood as far from the other dog as possible and I did fine. All the other tests I passed on my FIRST TRY. Our trainer was so surprised that after the first six tests were done he came over and checked to see if I was REALLY me and not some ringer that Mommy brought in for the test.

When the testing was over, and we had our certificate, I jumped on our trainer's lap. By the way, I got my cheeseburger.

July 23, 2002

Well, I guess that good dog thing actually stuck. I've been a good boy this month. Mommy has given me run of the house for as long as three hours while she's been gone and I haven't gotten into ANY trouble. She also has let me have run of the house while she is asleep and I have been mostly good. I only ate one pair of underwear about a week ago. Mommy is beginning to wonder if I am sick I've been such a good boy. Maybe it is the heat around here. It has been SO VERY HOT that I really don't want to do much. Sometimes I don't even want to eat. After having lived with Boo, Mommy has trouble with the idea that a dog could just choose not to eat even if he is feeling okay. She says if I keep this good dog stuff up I will probably have run of the house all the time by fall and she will get to have a dining room again.

Other than being hot and good, only one exciting thing happened this month. Mommy has been really busy, so no trips or stuff. Therefore, I've gotten to go to the dogpark a lot. The other day when I was there we stayed until closing. Then just as Mommy was trying to leave I saw a chihuahua and I ran up to say hello. The chi got scared and ran. I LOVE playing chase so I chased. The chi got so scared he RAN UNDER THE GATE of the dog park and out into the parking lot. Mommy jumped the fence and tried to get him, but he was very shy. Other people were yelling for his owner to come, but she was REALLY slow to react. By the time she got to the parking lot Kitty (the chi) was heading for the road. Kitty ended up running down a very busy road at sunset with his owner chasing him. I was worried that Mommy was going to leave without me so I was trying to find a way out of the park when Mommy came back in, but rather than pay attention to me, she ended up riding herd on the woman's other chi (who was trying to run under the gate too) and the woman's four greyhounds who were running along the fence trying to find a good place to jump over. The lady finally got Kitty and everyone was very happy to see him, and Mommy said she was very sorry I had chased him under the gate in the first place, but other people said it wasn't Mommy's fault. Mommy still said it was my fault though and I was a bad doggie to scare Kitty so bad.

Oh! I almost forgot! Mommy took me to see the fireworks on the 4th of July. It was lots of fun. We sat on a blanket and some people came and sat by us. Their kids didn't have their CGCs because they were VERY poorly behaved. Some even teased me until Mommy said, "If he pops that Scooby Doo toy, I am not buying you a new one." and "I do not want him to eat what is in that glowstick so stop waving it in his face." Then their parents kind of controlled them. On the other side of us there were some nice people who couldn't believe that Mommy had taken A DOG to the fireworks. They were afraid I would be scared. I wasn't. I LOVE FIREWORKS. I like to watch them, but I don't like the ones that just flash and make a big boom. When those would go off I would glare at Mommy because I know it was her fault the boring fireworks were being displayed. I like the nice colorful ones. I watched about 1/2 the show and then I fell asleep. After the first few fireworks went off the nice people next to me said, "Wow! He REALLY DOES watch the fireworks. I've never seen a dog who watches them before."

August 20, 2002

This month Mommy and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's place in Wisconsin. Boy was it fun! I got to swim and roll in things and chase chipmunks and squirrels and ducks and stuff. One day I was in the house and a chipmunk came right up to the glass doors that are on one side of the house. I got so excited I started barking and pounding on the glass. Mommy opened the back door and tried to get me to come to her to go outside and chase the chipmunk, but my brain kind of turns off when I see the little ratty things and I wouldn't let it out of my sight. It ran along the glass and I chased it. All of a sudden I realized that the chipmunk could keep going beyond the house, but I was going to run into the wall! I tried to stop, but I spun out (Mommy says I am the only dog she has ever seen who literally spins out) and I slammed sideways into the stereo speaker. I was very lucky that it was so close to the wall because it didn't tip over and even the little china loons and glass duck lamp didn't fall off.

Another day Mommy was swimming and I was swimming with her when I heard a car. I like cars up there because interesting people come in cars. I left the water and ran through the woods to the neighbor's house. It was their car. They were leaving so I chased them. They kept honking at me so I didn't hear Mommy yelling and whistling for me as she ran through the woods in her bare feet and swimsuit (if I keep saying that maybe Mommy will believe it eventually). After I had chased the car a down the road a bit I decided to come back to Mommy. Mommy looked silly running up the neighbor's driveway in her swimsuit with her bare feet covered with leaf litter and stuff. Mommy grabbed me and SPANKED me. Bad Mommy. She said she was sorry later, but we were still mad at each other for most of the rest of that day.

The next morning I got Mommy up about 6:30 and told her I had to go out. What I really had to do was chase the deer I had seen from our bedroom window. I chased them until they pooped and then I stopped to roll in the poop. Mommy came chasing after me through the woods again. This time she was barefoot and in her bathrobe. When she caught me I rubbed deer poop off on her robe. Boy was she mad! After that she made me stay on my leash for most of the rest of the vacation, but sometimes I would be so good that she would let me off and then I would chase after cars I heard or ducks I saw or deer or chipmunks or squirrels...

It was a FUN vacation. When we got home I slept for one whole day and then I moped for the second day. The third day Mommy took me to the dogpark and I remembered that being home could be fun too, so I stopped moping.

September 24, 2002

I discovered this month that there are FISH in the lake by our house. Why didn't anyone tell me about this before??!! I have NEVER discovered anything so fun, except maybe squirrels and the dogpark! Now, every chance I get I try to convince Mommy to take me to the lake. There are BIG fish, which I don't see very often, middle sized fish and little fish that Mommy says are called minnows. I like the little fish the best. They swim in big packs and are SO MUCH FUN TO CHASE.

At first I would just run maddly through the water hoping to catch a fish, but now I am more careful. I stand really still in the shallows. I don't move anything (except my tail which seems to have a mind of its own) and I watch for the fish. When I spot them then I LEAP at them. Mommy says I am never going to catch them if I keep leading with my feet, but I'm not sure about that. Even if I don't catch them it is still fun to jump at them because when you jump into the middle of a bunch of minnows they all swim in different directions and then you can run maddly through the water after them. Sometime I try to bite them, but they are always deeper than I expect and all I seem to get is ears full of water. But I figure practice makes perfect and so I plan to practice until I catch myself a fish.

Mommy took me to the lake the other day to chase the fish and said that I could stay there until I got tired of the game. An hour and a half later she took it back and made me go home. She didn't realize that I never get tired of chasing fish, but she got tired of pacing back and forth on the beach. She says that maybe next time she will take my 100 foot training leash and a chair and a book so that I can fish all morning if I want. I hope she does. I want to CATCH some of those minnows!

October 22, 2002

This month Mommy and I went back up to Wisconsin. Everyone was supposed to go up to help clean up from the summer, but her brothers all went up early and did all the work. Since Mommy couldn't get off on the new weekend and already had the other weekend off, we went up and had fun. One of the things we did was went into town and saw this very strange custom where the townspeople cook roastbeefs in front of their stores and then they dress themselves and their beefs up and parade through town. (Check my page in the future for photos. Mommy is such a slow photo taker it will be a while before they are out of the camera) Mommy wondered what I would do with all the meat around me, but I was very good and didn't try to take any of it. If I hadn't been wearing my headcollar it might have been a different story.

The BIG NEWS of the month though is that I have gotten COMPLETE RUN OF THE HOUSE and I have been VERY GOOD. I've been so good in fact that Mommy spent last weekend cleaning up my room and stuff and putting away all the babygates and my cage. I was downstairs with Mommy when she pulled the cage out from by the boiler and boy was I shocked. I smiled at her and ran upstairs because I thought she was going to try to put me in it. I HATE that cage. I don't care what they say about dogs liking cages because they are a spot of their own and all that. My spot is on Mommy's bed thank you very much! Mommy kept calling me and saying, "Look! I'm putting it in the box! I'm putting the box in the storage closet!" but I didn't really believe her. I still haven't gone back down into the basement, just in case. Mommy says the next big job is repairing the door frames that I ate before I became a GOOD DOG.

Finally this month my dogpark visits have had to change from evenings to weekends because it gets dark too soon. I miss going at night and Mommy isn't very happy about some of the bad dog things I have been learning from the weekend dogs. She says they seem to be a lower class of dog than we are used to. They tend to guard their toys and food and water and they fight a lot. I even got into some fights myself. One dog attacked me because his Mommy gave me a treat, and then the other day I took offense when a pit bull puppy jumped on me and I snapped at him and he snapped back and the next thing you know we were kind of scuffling and Mommy and the pit bull's owner had to separate us. Then while Mommy was holding me I actually snapped at two other doggies. Mommy says she knows I was over tired and over excited, but it was no excuse and I had to go home and now Mommy says no more dog park for at least one week. Obedience instead. **SIGH**

November 19, 2002

Well, this month Mommy did that weird thing where she walks around the house and fiddles with all the clocks and then she starts coming home from work an HOUR LATE each night. This year, however, I DID NOT pee or poop or throw up even once! Mommy says I am turning into such a grown up dog.

This month also that Halloween thing came again. Mommy made me wear devil horns to answer the door. I didn't mind because I get treats if I do it right, and I did it right almost every time. Everyone liked me except one little boy who was dressed as a puppy and who was AFRAID OF DOGS! Why was he dressed like a puppy then? Mommy thinks maybe they were trying to work him through his dog phobia or else he wanted to dress as something REALLY scary! I greeted almost everyone perfectly and I didn't try to stick my head into anyone's candy bag and take their candy either. The only kid that I attacked was one who was wearing a stuffed animal on her head, so could you really blame me? (Read my Bad Dog story for the whole tale)

Finally, Mommy let me go back to the dogpark, but only on weekday mornings. I was good for the whole month until THIS MORNING when I decided to fight with a German shepherd for absolutely no reason. Mommy couldn't catch me. (I am fast and strong and slippery so there is no stopping me unless you manage to grab both my tail and a leg at the same time and that is hard to do when you have to do it in the middle of a dog fight!) The German shepherd had to be dragged out of the park with me going after him the whole time before I calmed down. BOY WAS MOMMY MAD!! She actually hollered at me and said all sorts of bad words and swatted me AND did a muzzle squeeze and head shake (she's NEVER done that before! I was shocked let me tell you.) in front of all the other dog owners! She really lost her temper. I don't know why she gets so mad. I am only having fun. I wag my tail the whole time I am fighting and I never actually BITE the other dog I just make all the noise and snap my teeth. The other dog never actually bites me either because I am too fast. Mommy says it may be a game for me, but it isn't for the other dog or the owners and I am not going back to the dogpark until probably NEXT YEAR because I have to REALLY work on my manners. So still more obedience and Mommy says "NO MORE SPOILING because you are the OMEGA DOG not the alpha!!" Something tells me I may have gone too far today.

December 23, 2002

This was a busy month. First off, Mommy kept her word and I didn't get to go to the dog park AT ALL this month. Mean Mommy. I have been getting wilder and wilder just to show her how badly I need to RUN, but it hasn't helped. Mommy was also keeping her word about lots of obedience work until I found a way out of it this month. I ate something toxic and had an allergic reaction to it. The whole left side of my head swelled up and my left eye swelled closed. Mommy took me to the emergency vet who said it looked like I'd been bitten by something and said, "Save your money. Go buy Benadryl and give him that rather than get him a shot of the same stuff." So Mommy did and the swelling went down. The vet had said if I looked okay the next day Mommy shouldn't do anything. I looked fine, so she didn't, but when she got home from work my whole nose was swelled up to twice its size! Mommy said I looked like somebody called ALF. Mommy got me a vet appointment for the next day, but by the time we got there my nose wasn't swollen anymore, but it was all covered in bumps and was itchy. The vet said I had hives and I had to take Benadryl for almost a week! They think I may have eaten a spider or centipede, but I'm not telling what it was. The only lasting effect of the reaction was that the hair fell out around my eye and it hasn't grown back yet. Mommy says she will talk to the vet about it when I go for my checkup in a couple weeks.

While my nose was still itchy, Mommy packed all our stuff up and we went to Grandma and Grandpa's place in Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. I had fun and was very good. I only got in trouble once (read my Bad Dog story ). My doggie cousin Fred came by one day, and I kept giving him what Mommy calls "the devil eyes" because Fred is really big and big dogs make me nervous 'cause of the dog park problems, but we didn't have any arguments and I even tried to get him to play with me a couple times. He's kind of old, so he didn't want to. One other thing I did at Thanksgiving was head-butt my human cousin really hard right under the eye. Everyone (except Mommy who has been head-butted by me before) thought he was going to get a black eye, but he only had a red spot under his eye for a day.

Also, this month Mommy took me to visit our old neighbor. He lives in an assisted care place now so I don't get any treats at the fence anymore. I kept trying to get him to come give me treats and Mommy kept telling me he wasn't there, but since I wouldn't believe her she took me to his new place. He has a GREAT ROOM you can see a dog park from his window!! I kept whining and trying to get Mommy to take me there, but she wouldn't. My neighbor was happy to see me and even though he had told Mommy he didn't want me to come see him, after the visit he said, "I'll have to get some treats." and then he said, "You can bring my friend by whenever you want." so Mommy says we will go back there and MAYBE if I am GOOD we will go to the dog park too. By the way, new neighbors are at the house now. They haven't moved in yet, but they sure are making a lot of noise. Mommy says they are gutting the house and redoing it. We don't know if they are going to move in or if they are going to resell the place when they are done, so Mommy says, "No fence begging!" I haven't listened, but the new people don't seem to understand that they are supposed to give me treats. I hope they move in so I can train them.

Finally this month Mommy took me to see someone named Santa Paws and get my photo taken. We went to the pet store and instead of going right to the toy area we went to a back corner where this guy dressed in red stuffed animal fur was. He has this long white beard and he smelled like lots of other doggies and cats and hamsters and ferrets and all sorts of animals. Mommy had me jump up on the platform he was sitting on. I did it, but when Mommy stepped back I got scared and jumped off. We repeated this a whole bunch of times until the elf who was taking the picture suggested that Mommy hide on the floor behind Santa and hold my leash. When I knew Mommy wasn't leaving I settled down right away and they got a good photo of Santa and me. Mommy made it into our holiday card. Click here to see it. Write to you next year!

January 21, 2003

Well another busy month. This month that Christmas thing happened again. Mommy and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Christmas Eve. One of Mommy's brothers was there. I kept licking him all over the face. Grandma and Grandpa had a TREE in the house. I was very good and didn't take any of the ornaments off, and I didn't water the tree, and I didn't lop off any of the branches. I did try to get to the back of the tree where my presents were, but Mommy wouldn't let me. Mommy says maybe next year we can have a tree in our house too! Some other relatives came over for Christmas Eve and I was very good. I didn't get into any trouble, except trying a couple times to eat the hors d'oeuvres. I even showed off my tricks (Click here to see my list of tricks I can do ). Mommy and I slept over that night. I was okay, but I would have prefered a double bed. Mommy takes up too much room in the twin bed.

The next day we opened our presents. I got a REAL bone from the butcher, a squeakie stuffed pacifier and a cow that goes "MOOOO!" when you bite it. I chewed the cow's horns off right away. Grandma thought that was terrible, but Mommy doesn't mind. Then one of Mommy's other brothers and his family came with their dog, Missy. Missy is a Portugese water dog and still a puppy. She wanted to play and she chased me around. I played with her some, but I know that running games are OUTSIDE games so I didn't play as hard as I would have if we were outside. She also jumped up on Grandma's bed and bedroom chairs (which is a no-no and I told her so!) so we ended up having to stay in the kitchen and front hall only. Missy wanted the rolls that were rising on the counter. I wanted the rolls on the counter too, but I saw Mommy had put a mousetrap by them so I told Missy not to touch them. When everyone was in the other room opening presents, Missy jumped up to get the rolls and set the mousetrap off. Mommy heard the SNAP! and came to see who got got. Missy was looking startled and surprised by the mousetrap and I was dancing around the room wagging my tail and LAUGHING at Missy. I told her not to touch the rolls! HA HA HA!!

Missy and I got more presents too after all the people had finished with theirs. I got a giant tennis ball (I've lost it somewhere in our house) and a rawhide bone from Missy. I also got a rubber squeakie dog, some chewy milkbones and a big rubber squeakie bone from my Auntie Naomi (from Mommy's work), and some carob yogurt drops from Santa Paws. I gave Missy a dead-fowl quail. Missy didn't know what it was and dropped it so I stole it and when she tried to get it back I growled at her. So Mommy took it away. Christmas sure is fun.

This month I also went to the vet for shots. It took two people to hold me down so a third person could take blood for my heartworm test. Mommy says I really need to learn to relax at the vet's. The vet says my hair around my eye should grow back with my spring shed and I am a perfect dog, physically.

Mommy let me go back to the dog park this month. YAY!! I have been good, but I have to drag my leash around so Mommy can catch me and we go somewhere high or fenced when we see German shepherds and I get treatstreatstreatstreats for looking at them and not getting bristly. I did snap at a dog who tried to join a chase game I was having with another dog, so Mommy took me home and said we have to work on "dogs coming up behind me" (that is how the shepherd came at me and made me paranoid), but Mommy thinks I am improving. She says she'll take me to the park by my neighbor's new place next time to see if a different location helps.

I got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa a second time this month because Mommy went to a wedding and didn't want to worry about me having to go out and stuff. I hardly worried this time. I only threw up a little after Mommy left and I didn't pee or poop in the house at all. In fact, when Mommy came to get me I was sleeping on the bed we had slept in on Christmas Eve. Mommy was very proud of me.

And, last but not least, I celebrated my second aniversary with Mommy on January 19th. Mommy bought me another bone (from the grocery store) but when she unwrapped it it was spoiled. It was so disgusting that when I sniffed a drop of blood that had fallen on the floor it made ME gag, and I play with road kill! Mommy took it back to the store and told them to check their freezer. So, I got a bully stick instead and that night Mommy bought me a double cheese burger and fries. MMMM.

Happy New Year!

My Monthly Diary for January (Start of Year 10)

The end of December/beginning of January is always a big time for me. First there is Christmas. Mommy brings a tree in the house that you are NOT supposed to pee on and then she puts presents under the tree that you are NOT supposed to open even though you can smell that they are for you and yummy. This year was no exception. I KNEW there was a new antler for me and a bag of walnuts under the tree and I really wanted them, but I was good and didn't take them, except once when Mommy was on the phone and even then I didn't open the present, I just carried it off to my bed. Finally after waiting forever Christmas came. Grandma, Grandpa and Mommy's youngest brother came to our house for dinner and Mommy was very careful so I didn't get any people food. She said she didn't want me to blow up and end up at the emergency vet again. Mommy and I slept in the next day and then I got to open all my presents EXCEPT THE ANTLER AND THE WALNUTS!! Mommy told me I could open them at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We got in the car and drove to their house and when we got there I jumped out of the car and discovered that I was very stiff. I walked towards the house in a C shape. Mommy said if I were an old man I'd have been bent double and walking sideways. Mommy took me for a short walk down the block and I loosened up again. It seems that the deep snow we'd been walking in the past few days tired me out more than I knew. Mommy and her youngest brother hung around a bit and then Missy and her family came! I wanted to play, but Missy has become a bit of an old grump (even though she is younger than I am). We got to open our presents when the humans were opening theirs. I was very excited to have the new antler and settled down to chew it. Mommy gave Missy one too and she chewed on hers a bit, but then saw how much I was enjoying mine and she decided mine was better. We spent the whole rest of the time with her waiting for me to put down my antler and turn my back so she could rush in and grab it and run away. Then I'd take hers and chew it until Mommy got mine back and we'd start over again. Missy can be goofy at times.

After Christmas Mommy and I went up to the family house in Wisconsin. Grandma and Grandpa went up too and Missy and her family went up and stayed with Mommy's oldest brother and his family at their house. I don't like Walter, Mommy's oldest brother's dog, so we have always had an agreement that I don't go to Walter's house in Wisconsin and he doesn't come to the family house when I am there, but Missy's dad wasn't very bright and on his first night there, after Mommy and I had gone to bed, he came over with the kids and Missy AND WALTER! I heard them downstairs and ran down to say hi and was really pissed off that Walter had come. I ran up to Walter and stood over him all stiff and said, "What are you a wimp? Come on. Just try something." Walter hunkered down as low as he could and whispered, "Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me." and Missy ran off to the far corner of the kitchen and pretended to be invisible (she does that very well). Mommy sensed bad doggedness and came downstairs calling, "Is Walter here?!" and Grandma said, "Yes they are getting along great! Merlin is wagging his tail." Mommy tore down the stairs and saw what was happening and said quietly, "Everyone step away from the dogs. Do not look at them. Do not talk to them." The humans all thought she was nuts, but Mommy could hear what I was saying and yes, my tail was wagging, but it was curled into a very tight spiral and was wagging in quick jerky movements, which is never good. Missy saw Mommy was there and RAN to the back door. Mommy let her out and managed to get me away from Walter long enough for Walter to get outside too. I then ran to the window and whined my, "Come back I just want to play" whine and the humans, except Mommy, believed me and insisted that Walter get to come back in. Another few very tense moments ensued, but Walter eventually got to go home uneaten. Mommy told Missy's daddy that Missy could come back the next day, but Walter needed to stay home.

The next day everyone came over and I ran out to play with Missy and then realized that WALTER HAD COME BACK AGAIN!! I ran downstairs to tell him to stay away from my house, but he came upstairs anyway and tried to get me to play. I looked at him and ran up like I wanted to play and then, without warning, I jumped him and tried to eat him. Missy's daddy tried to get Walter away by pulling on his leash, but the leash broke. Mommy was at us by that time and she pulled me off Walter by the scruff of the neck and base of the tail and forced me into the house and up to my room for a time out. I knew I was in trouble, but frankly, Missy's daddy was in more trouble as far as Mommy was concerned. Walter and Missy decided to go home with Missy's mom and everyone, including me, went sledding. Grandma said I shouldn't have gotten to go sledding because I'd attacked Walter, but Mommy pointed out that sledding and Walter have nothing to do with each other in my mind and leaving me home would do no good. It was a good thing she didn't leave me home because while we were gone Walter and his daddy came back over to the house. Mommy wonders how so many humans can be so dog stupid and then go around telling her she is the stupid one. Anyway after that Walter stayed home, so maybe they did learn, and Mommy and I decided to leave that vacation earlier than planned and have some quiet time at home instead. We had a good time taking walks and sleeping in and just having a "staycation".

Also this month we had some nice weather and Mommy and I took a long hike which was fun. We were out for three hours, but only got 3 1/2 miles because I had to sniff EVERYTHING we passed since it had been a long time since we had been able to get out onto the trails. I also almost caught another squirrel this month. He was on top of the stockade fence and I jumped up after him, but he jumped down the other side. Mommy was shocked to see me hanging for a brief moment by my armpits on the top of the fence (it is 6 feet tall) and she said I was lucky the boxer wasn't out on the other side or we'd have had a problem, since he can jump high enough that she can see his whole face over the fence.

Finally I celebrated my Adoption Day this month and am now starting my 10th year with Mommy! You can read my adoption story in the previous blog.

Happy Adoption Day to Me!!

Today is my Adoption Day. I've been with Mommy for nine years now. That isn't bad considering how I started in life. For those of you who tuned in late, I'll tell you about how Mommy and I found each other.

You see, back in the summer of 2000 Mommy's old dog Boo finally lost his battle with mouth cancer and somewhere in Wisconsin I was born. About five weeks later Mommy sent in applications to Labrador retriever rescue groups and around the same time somebody threw me over the fence of a rural Wisconsin kill pound in the middle of the night. Mommy said on her applications that she couldn't take a dog until February because she had a family reunion to attend and she had to buy all new furniture and repair her floors and walls. That was because mouth cancer causes a lot of bleeding and Boo had been allowed to have full run of the house while he was sick and he bled on EVERYTHING.

L.E.A.R.N. contacted Mommy and wanted to do a home visit a couple days before the floor guys were coming to refinish all the hardwood floors in the house. Every piece of furniture that could be salvaged was either in the basement or stuffed floor to ceiling in the kitchen. Mommy took the interview lady through the blood splattered living room and down to the basement where they sat on the slightly less blood splatted couch and talked. Mommy thinks that volunteer was very brave.

Mommy thought they would think she was nuts and not give her a dog, but, while they may have thought she was nuts they knew they could find a dog that was just as crazy as her, and that was ME! I've never been quite normal, but that is due to the fact that I grew up in what must have been the worst of the worst pounds. Hoses scared me, brooms scared me, barking dogs scared me. I didn't get any good human contact because I was destined to die after I'd been there for four months, but luckily for me L.E.A.R.N. was contacted right before I was to go to that final vet visit and they pulled me out of the pound.

Mommy was at the family reunion at the time I was rescued. Mommy's vacation lasted longer than my first foster home. I was there for only a few days when my foster mom called the people in charge of fosters and said that I was untrainable and someone needed to come get me THAT DAY or she would take me back to the pound herself. I got picked up a few hours later and was taken to my second foster home. That foster mom was a professional trainer and she checked me out and decided I could be trained, but I was going to need a very special forever home. She turned down one person who thought he might want me because she knew it wasn't the right fit (they wanted a dog who could be trained as a gun dog). The people who arranged the adoptions then went through all their applications and found Mommy's with its great big red SUCKER! stamped on it (this is Mommy's theory of what her application looked like). They called Mommy and said, "We know it is a month early, but we think we have the perfect dog for you! Would you please go look at him?" Mommy looked at the house and decided that she could delay repairing the kitchen an bathroom and said yes.

We met at my second foster home and I was super charming. I brought her all kinds of good things while she was talking to my foster mom, like the kid's toys and shoes and socks and a video tape and a remote control. Mommy fell in love right away and, even though she was a little concerned that I lost all interest in her when we took a "test walk" and she couldn't get me to look at her face no matter how many weird noises she made, she said she wanted me! The foster lady said she thought Mommy was a perfect fit for me too, but we had to wait 48 hours before the deal was set. It was a very long two days for both of us and then it extended into two weeks because my foster mom noticed I had an odd way of walking and wanted my hips x-rayed and Mommy said as long as I was going to be knocked out for that they might as well fix me then so she couldn't take me until I had mostly recovered from that. But finally she came to take me to my forever home.

I let her put my seat belt on without complaint and hopped right in the car without looking back. I knew I was going some place good. When we got on the highway I managed to tangle myself up in my seat belt so badly that I was stuck upside down dangling over the foot well of the car. Mommy had to pull onto the shoulder and untangle me and I helped by licking her face and wiggling the whole time. Then when we got home I went potty in the yard and she let me into the house where I immediately found the toy box and picked up every toy and ran one lap through the house with each one. When I had emptied the toy box I squatted down on the newly refinished living room's hardwood floor and peed about a gallon of pee in two seconds and Mommy saw just how charming I really was.

But despite everything Mommy kept me and so I got to celebrate my Adoption Day today with a new toy, a big bone and promises of chicken nuggets tonight.

Happy Adoption Day to Me!!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year all! Mommy doesn't celebrate her new year at this time, but we still like to wish you all a happy one. What Mommy does do is calculate how many miles we walked during the previous year. We did 997.15 miles in 2009. This isn't too bad if you consider that I broke a vertebra in June and was on the disabled list until August with no walks longer than 1 mile allowed all that time. For the fun of it Mommy started keeping track in 2007 of how many miles we walked each year and we started an imaginary trip to Alaska and beyond. We are almost there! If there were roads in the Southeastern part of the state we would be there, but we are just past Whitehorse, YT in Canada now. You can see my Google Map of our Imaginary Walk Around America if you want to. Hope 2010 is a good one for you all!